Harry's Unknown Family
by Life Jacket
Summary: Harry finds out he has kin in America and meets his dad's family.
1. Chapter 1

Hello, I had this story posted on another website about 5 years ago, but I decided to update it and change the characters around a bit. Basically, Harry finds out he has distant cousins in the states, mainly in central Appalachia and one of them along with her schoolmates come to Hogwarts as part of an exchange program. This will be rated M for some sexual situations, swearing, cussing and what might come out of Fleure Delecour's and Gabrielle Delecour's mouth. Yep, you're going to learn some French, German, Italian and Gaelic. And as usual the standard disclaimers apply: JKR's, not mine.

Prologue (Starts after OOTP)

_Somewhere at a fireplace in central Appalachia..._

"Is it true Sev," William Westmorland asked through the floo, "what happened to Sirius Black?"

"Yes, Bill," Severus Snape replied, "Black's gone behind the veil. Bellatrix sent him there and Potter's an emotional mess."

"Should Rebecca and I come and get him?" William asked, "It's about time he met his distant relatives."

Severus Snape replied, "Albus is telling him about your wife, children and Serenity as we speak. Personally, I don't know how Potter is taking the news. By the way, how is my daughter?"

"Serenity is alright, her grades are ok, still works for Potter Racing on the weekends." William said. "I could page her to come to my office so you could talk, she's getting ready for a race this weekend as we speak."

"No,that's not necessary," Snape replied, "I'll be seeing her in a few days anyway, she hasn't been getting into trouble has she?"

"Your daughter is a top notch student at the academy, but she turned down the head girl position for next year," William said, "she wants to be ready to take over her mother's business when she graduates."

"I'm going to have to have a talk with her," Snape said, "I was hoping she would go to university before she went into running Potter Enterprises."

"Well, Sev," William said, "Willhilmina is exited about going to Hogwarts this fall along with some of her classmates, do you think they're ready for the challenge?"

"Your daughter is a female James Potter with a bit of Hermione Granger." Snape replied, "She will be challenged in my class. But she needs a change of scenery since your son Will Junior died, a fresh start so to speak."

"I'd prefer she would be in your house Sev, so she would know her uncle better."

"If Voldermort should find out I have a half-brother, I 'd have some explaining to do, Bill."

_At the Dursley Residence..._

"My son is not going to that school!" Vernon Dursley exclaimed loudly. "He is not a freak!"

"Vernon, listen," Petunia Dursley said, "I heard my sister Lily talk about that school, it's for children who have no magic, but magical relatives, they're called what they call... Professor Dumbledore you know what they are..."

"Squibs," Albus Dumbledore replied. "and it is well known in the muggle world for dealing with students with learning disabilities, would you rather have your son working in a muggle restaurant, "Flipping Burgers" or working beside you at Grunings for a living?"

Vernon Dursley admitted defeat.

"Alright, Dudley can go," Vernon said, "you said there was a girl that goes to that school that will come visit us next week that will explain what it is like at the school."

"Yes, I will send a message to her father who will also come with her." Albus replied, "In fact he knows Petunia from his childhood."

"And who would that be?" Petunia asked.

"Severus Snape." Dumbledore replied.

Petunia dropped the teacup she was holding.

Harry, who was also in the room said, "So I get to meet my cousin, the race car driver, cool!"


	2. Chapter 2

And here is Chapter 2 … as usual, the standard disclaimers apply... JKR's , not mine!

After Professor Dumbledore left, Harry went upstairs to his bedroom and wrote letters to be sent by owl to Ron and Hermione.

_Ron,_

_You won't believe the news that I heard today. Snape has a squib daughter who races cars. And she's my cousin. That would have made Snape my uncle by marriage if he had married my Aunt Jennifer, but he didn't because of him spying for the Order. My cousin has taken the last name of Potter for safety reasons and I found out she is coming for a visit in a week or two. It seems Dudley is going to the school she attends because he has a learning disability, so she's going to show him the ropes, so to speak. _

_Write back,_

_Harry_

_Hermione,_

_Can you find anything about car racing, in particular, NASCAR. I have a long lost cousin who is female and races cars when her nose isn't in a book and I need a conversation starter with her. Plus we're getting some exchange students from the states this fall from the Appalachian Academy of Magic, one of them being another cousin who is a minister's kid, so I might be staying this summer with her family if I can, Professor Dumbledore agrees with this._

_Write back,_

_Harry_

_A week later..._

"Serenity," her father asked, "why didn't you put on a dress and some sensible shoes?"

Serenity was wearing a white T-shirt with a NASCAR logo and a pair of khaki cargo pants with flip-flops. She replied, "Dad, we're not here to see the queen, I'm surprised you wore a suit anyway, not your teaching robes... Now what does Mr. Dursley do for a living?"

"He sells drills and construction equipment." Severus replied.

"And I assume his wife will have her best tea set out for us from what you told me about her." Serenity said.

"And no going crazy over your cousin Harry." Severus replied, "I want you on your best behavior no matter his popularity status. I have to deliver his OWL's to him today and I don't know how his relatives will take the news."

Serenity said,"That he is better than their own son in school."

"Just tell them what they want to know about the academy and a few words with your cousin Harry should cover it for our visit." Severus said.

They rang the doorbell to the Dursley residence and Harry answered the door.

Harry replied, "Professor Snape, Serenity is it?"

"Serenity Potter, your cousin, we meet at last, Harry." she said holding out her hand for him to shake it.

Harry shook his cousin's hand and asked, "May I have your autograph for my friend Seamus, he's a fan of car racing."

"I figured this would come up, Dad." Serenity said. "Enlarge my backpack, will you please."

Out of her enlarged backpack she pulled out some photos with her signature in the right hand corner.

"Here's one for your friend and one for you, Harry." she replied. "I'm always prepared."

"Thank you." Harry said quietly.

Severus said, "Here are your OWL's Mr. Potter. Some advice, do not get on your high horse when you read your results."

Harry opened up his results and read over them. After reading them, he found out he ranked in the top 10 of his class.

"Well, boy," Vernon Dursley asked, "how do you rank at your school?"

"I'm in the top 10 Uncle Vernon." Harry replied.

Vernon was shocked.

Petunia said, "He takes it after Lily, always studious that one."

Dudley was being very quiet during this exchange. "But I don't want to switch schools."

"Don't worry Dudley, you'll meet new friends," Serenity said. "you want help with your grades don't you?"

Dudley said, "Yes, I want to work with dad at Gruning's."

"Well, let me tell you about Preston Heights Academy."

_Somewhere in France..._

"But Mama, I want to go to Hogwarts, Beauxbatons is too snobby!" Gabrielle Delecour argued with her mother.

"Why?" Her mother asked. "Beauxbatons is a good school"

"I want to be close to Fleur, I miss her." Gabrielle said. "I liked it there during the tournament..."

"Zhe almost got killed during the tournament also," her mother said. "and you almost drowned."

"Come on, Mama, Pleazze..." Gabrielle said.

"Okay, I'll talk it over with your father." her mother said.

"Thank you mama."


	3. Chapter 3

As usual the disclaimer... JKR's, not mine!

Chapter 3 (The Pick-up)

_Sometime near the end of June at the Dursley house..._

"Rev. Westmorland," Petunia said, "welcome to our home. I'm sorry Vernon isn't here, he's at work and Dudley is visiting friends. I assume you are here about Harry."

"Yes, we are here to take him." William Westmorland replied. "This is my wife Rebecca and this is my daughter Willhilmina, who prefers to be called Billie. Don't worry about Harry, he will be busy this summer with what we have planned in our family."

Petunia yelled, "Harry come down here, the Westmorlands' are here for you."

Harry came down the stairs and looked at them.

"Spitting image of James..." William said.

"Lily's eyes..." Rebecca said.

Harry said, "Everyone that knew my parents says that."

"Hi, I'm Billie Jo," Billie replied, "need help with packing your trunk?"

"No, I'm packed." Harry said. "But I could use help getting my trunk shrunk."

"Say no more," Rebecca said as she went upstairs. "And have you sent your owl to the Weasley's"

"Yes, Cousin Rebecca." Harry said. "I'm going to miss her."

"You'll have a fireplace to use so you can floo call your friends." Rebecca said. "We'll have to stop at Gringotts to get you some spending money for this summer. I think a thousand Gallions will cover you this summer."

"How much is that in American money?" Harry asked.

Rebecca replied, "A few thousand dollars, less than 5 thousand. I'm going to take you shopping Harry for clothes in a couple of days. You need clothes for school and the camp I run during the summer."

She then shrunk his trunk. "Now let's go say good-bye to your aunt and leave."

_A couple of hours later...and a run-in with the Malfoys..._

"Lucious Malfoy hasn't changed a bit, Will, still a pure-blood bigot, I'm surprised he didn't try to curse us." Rebecca said, "He didn't even apologize for bumping into you, Harry."

"Let's just say Mr. Malfoy and I have an issue over a certain house elf, by the name of Dobby" Harry said. "I'll tell you all about that later."

Billie Jo said, "I got Draco Malfoy's floo address."

"Willhelmina..." her father said.

"Hey, he flirted with me while you adults were arguing about politics and Harry was at the bank." Billie Jo said. "Harry came at the last minute."

"So," Harry asked, "What's next?"

William Westmorland said, "A quick portkey across the pond to France to pick-up a girl that has come to camp for years. Gabrielle Delecour, her sister Fleur..."

Harry said, "How do you know the Delecours?"

"Rebecca is an old friend of the family," William said, "Fleur and Gaby work on their English when they come to our camp, Fleur has been working for Gringotts this past year. Gaby will be coming to Hogwarts this fall as a first year."

They then took a portkey to France.

Gabrielle came to greet them in a field near her home. "Right on time... Harry!" She ran to hug him.

"Welcome to France!"

_Meanwhile, back in Colorado..._

"Thanks for coming, Ginny." Jennifer Rawlings said. "Melanie needs to get her trunk packed properly for Hogwarts and I can't do any heavy lifting with the twins on the way. You want some iced tea?"

"Might as well get used to it since I'm going to be in the states this summer." Ginny Weasley said. "After I get through with your daughter, I'm off to North Carolina to the Westmorlands' to help out at their camp. Dad got me a summer job working at the camp as a councilor this summer for the kids. It will get me prepared for prefect work at Hogwarts this year."

Jennifer said, "I know the Westmorlands' through Jon, sounds like a nice family."

"Sad though they lost one of their children earlier this year." Ginny said. "Father said it was over a girl and he was killed with a muggle gun. Father's taking muggle shooting lessons, when he isn't at the ministry just in case of emergency. Personally, he's worried about the family and when my brother Bill showed him his gun after hearing of the shooting, dad decided he had to protect the family by other means."

_Somewhere in Washington D.C. …_

"So, Andrew," Charles Parkinson said, "excited about going to Hogwarts with your schoolmates from the academy?"

"Yeah dad," Andy Parkinson replied, "I want to see where you went to school"

"Just remember what I told you about your distant cousin Pansy..."

"Yeah, dad, one can shy of a six pack."


	4. Chapter 4

As usual the standard disclaimer applies: Anything that isn't JKR's is mine!

Chapter 4 Clothes and Secrets

_At the Westmorland house..._

The house elves employed by the Westmorlands; Bitsy, Misty and Tipsy were busy preparing the house for Harry Potter's visit. Bitsy had been in the wizarding section of Charlotte gathering groceries, Misty was handling phone calls for the family business and Tipsy was busy cleaning the house. William Westmorland was reluctant to have house elves, he being a squib, but Rebecca insisted saying, "I can't handle all the responsibilities of being a minister's wife and having a part-time job Will. We've got to have help around the house!" And so William relented and found these 3 house elves from his connections in the wizarding division of the CIA. You see, William Westmorland used to be a muggle spy and Rebecca would go on some of the missions with him every once in a while until their children started school when William gave up the life of a spy and became an Sunday go-to-church minister. He was well known for his sermons in muggle circles and well known in the wizarding world for the school he started for squibs and those with limited magical powers.

The next day, the Westmorlands, Harry and Gaby arrived at breakfast time, having left France in the early afternoon via portkey. Harry was looking at the old mansion and saw some cabins off in the distance. William said, "Welcome to our home and Camp Sunshine, Harry."

Harry said, "It must cost a fortune to keep up the place."

Rebecca said, "Harry, don't worry about a thing, you're our guest, we have paid house elves, everything should be in order for you. In fact, Ginny Weasley is due through any time. She's working this summer as a councilor here at the camp."

"She didn't tell me in her last letter, just told me she was going to be busy this summer." Harry said.

Harry went inside the mansion and saw the house elves lined up in the living room. They said together in chorus, "WELCOME HARRY POTTER!"

"Breakfast is ready..." Bitsy said.

"Messages are waiting for you all on the desk..." Misty said.

Tipsy said, "And the bedrooms are ready for your guests, Mr. William."

Just then there was noise at the fireplace and out popped Ginny Weasley and Melanie Rawlings came out of it, covered in soot.

"Dad," Billie Jo said, "when was the last time you had the chimney cleaned? They're dirty!"

William said, "Alright, I'll get the chimney cleaned."

Rebecca did a quick "scourgify" on both Ginny and Melanie. After introductions were made, they sat at the kitchen table and had a breakfast of pancakes, sausages and eggs.

"Eat up, Harry." Rebecca said. "We've got a busy day ahead of us today and one of those things is making a clothing list of what you're going to need for Hogwarts not counting your uniform. I want to go through the clothing in your trunk to see what is going to charity, what goes in the trash and what to keep. I saved some of my Billy's clothes after he died, you and him were about the same size."

Harry said, "No offense, Rebecca, but that's a bit creepy, me wearing a dead person's clothes."

"Think nothing of it Harry." Rebecca said, "You're family, even though we're distantly related. Just think of it as recycling. What you don't want, it will go in the charity bin."

Ginny said, "Now you know what it's like when Ron gets hand-me-downs."

A couple of hours later the list was made, clothes sorted out. Dudley's hand-me-downs went into the trash, shirts that Harry had outgrown went into the charity bin. Harry was able to wear some of Rebecca's late son's clothes, which she had guessed right in the fit. Harry was now the owner of 3 suits and ties, a couple of jackets, some short sleaved shirts, 4 pairs of pants and some t-shirts. Harry was blushing though after a few wolf whistles from Billie Jo and Ginny when they saw him in the suits he put on.

Rebecca said, "Girls, quit teasing him, you're making him blush."

Melanie whispered in Gaby's ear, "I hope I meet a cute boy like Harry at Hogwarts."

Gaby whispered back, "I juzt want to get through school, Mel. Things are going to change overzeaz, Voldermort has come back, juzt be on your guard. Harry's the chozen one."

"Dad didn't tell me that." Melanie said, "I've just been worried about my mom giving birth to twins. He's probably gone back into CIA mode."

"What'z the CIA?" Gaby asked.

William, overhearing the conversation said "Gaby, it's the Central Intelligence Agency. They operate here in the United States. Melanie, how do you know about your father's involvement with the CIA?"

"Found out when I was 4 years old by accident." Melanie said. "Mom and dad were arguing, I eavesdropped on them, you get the picture, just kept my mouth shut. Dad confessed to me last year when my magic levels were going crazy due to puberty. I let him know that I knew he was a spy for years. He was shocked that I hadn't bought it up to him."

Harry, now wearing khakis, a Weird Sisters T-Shirt and an old pair of sneakers said, "Ginny, I think we ought to tell them about the DA."

**Ooh, a cliffhanger or a spoiler depending on how you look at it. Next chapter Serenity comes back, with an offer for Harry that he can't refuse... or can he?**


	5. Chapter 5

As usual the standard disclaimer applies: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers is mine!

Chapter 5 – Shopping and a Job Offer

After a tour of the camp, it was dinnertime and Harry and Ginny was discussing their patronses, when a knock came at the door. Serenity Potter was ushered into the kitchen by Misty the house elf.

"Serenity, why are your eyes red?" Rebecca asked. "Have you been crying? What's the matter?"

"Dad's been called by Voldermort." Serenity said. "Had to take an emergency portkey... I got my trunk and dad activated the portkey. He wanted me out of Spinners End just in case any of the Death Eaters came. I didn't get all my clothes though, got to get school clothes anyway, so I might as well go shopping tomorrow."

William said, "Harry and Ginny have to go shopping for clothes tomorrow, you can join them."

"Can I borrow one of the camp vans?" Serenity asked. "I promise not to wreck it! I don't want to use the Potter Enterprises limo!"

Harry asked, "Potter Enterprises has a limo?"

"And 2 planez." Gaby added. "Zerenity'z a wealthy perzon."

Rebecca said, "Yes, you can, just don't do what you do on the racetrack, OK?"

"Deal, Cousin Becky." Serenity said. "I know Harry, Billie Jo and Gaby here, but who are the redhead and little brunette?"

"Ginny Weasley is the redhead and the other girl is Melanie Rawlings." William said.

Serenity said, "Hi Ginny, hi Mel. Ready for camp this summer?"

Ginny replied, "Yes... so you're Professor Snape's daughter, eh?"

"Glad to meet you." Melanie said with a handshake.

Serenity said, "Yes, my father is Professor Snape. I assume Harry has told you how we are related."

"If I did what you do Serenity," Ginny said, "My mum would have a heart attack."

Serenity said, "Harry, after supper, I'd like to have a word or two with you in private."

William said, "You can use my study, Serenity. Harry, you know the silencing spell?"

"Yes, William, I know it." Harry replied.

After dinner, Serenity and Harry went into William's study, butterbeers in hand, spell casted, while the others gathered around the "telly".

In William's study, Serenity said, "Harry, I suppose you want to know why I want to have a private conversation with you... dad told me about the prophecy and what it means for you..."

"Yeah," Harry said, "I know I am the chosen one against Voldermort."

Serenity said, "I wanted to talk to you about something else. Harry, if we make it through this war, I want you to come work with me at Potter Enterprises handling Muggle and Magical Affairs."

"Sounds like a job offer my friend Hermione would jump at the chance for." Harry said, "Why don't you talk to her about it."

Serenity said, "Harry, I want you for the job because you're family. And besides, you're familiar with both the muggle and magical worlds."

"Serenity, I plan on training to be an auror." Harry said. "Talk to my friend Hermione about the job. She's muggleborn like my mother was, ask her."

"Well, if you insist." Serenity said. "When can I meet her?"

Harry replied, "Rebecca was talking about throwing me a birthday party, so I guess you can meet her then."

_Meanwhile, in the living room..._

Ginny was surprised at how a TV worked, when William and Rebecca had it on a news channel, as they explained to her. "And they aren't trapped inside the TV." Ginny replied. "Wow."

Gaby said, "Your father workz with muggle objectz, I'm zurprised he hazn't bought a TV home for you to look at yet."

"That's because electronics don't work well unless you cast a spell on them." Ginny said, "And even battery operated stuff doesn't work at Hogwarts. As for dad, he can't afford to get us a TV."

Melanie said, "Mr. Westmorland, could you turn to the cartoon channel, Looney Tunes is on, Ginny might like that."

After an hour of cartoons, including a cartoon about a witch, to which Ginny replied, "Man, she's having a bad hair day." They turned back to the news channel when the news broke as Harry and Serenity came back into the living room about a bridge collapse in London. Harry's scar started hurting him again.

Billie Jo said, "Do you need a potion for the pain, Harry?"

"No," Harry replied, "It will past. Voldermort's struck again."

_The next day... around 7AM..._

"Harry, wake up!" Billie Jo said, knocking on the bedroom door. "Get cleaned up and dressed for the rest of the day and pack an overnight bag. We've got a busy day ahead of us!"

After breakfast, Harry, Ginny, Billie Jo and Serenity piled into a van and went to a small airport. Melanie and Gaby stayed behind to help out at the camp. Harry and Ginny had never been in airplane before, so they were a bit nervous, but Billie Jo had potions for them so they would not get sick on the plane. After takeoff, Billie Jo told him that they were going to the town of Preston Heights, Kentucky where the Appalachian Academy of Magic was located. (Note: There is no real life Preston Heights in Kentucky, I'm just writing the story). When the plane touched down at a airport nearby over an hour later, they went to a limo that was waiting for them to take them to town so they could shop. Serenity said, "We're shopping here in Preston Heights because things are cheaper here than they are in Charlotte."

"That's practical." Ginny said. "But I don't have any muggle money if we go to shop in any of the muggle stores."

Harry said, "Don't worry Ginny, I'll pay for anything you might need for this summer, I'm prepared."

"Thanks, Harry." Ginny replied. "I'll make it up to you, I promise." She then kissed Harry on the cheek and Harry blushed.

The four teens got into the limo and Serenity said to the driver, "Harris' Bar and Grill, please."

Billie Jo explained, "The bar and grill is the entrance to the magical shopping area of Preston Heights. The shops take muggle money as well as wizarding money. But for shoes, we're going going to the muggle store Martin's. As for clothing we're going to Messer's Magical Clothing to get camp clothes for us this summer. Mom gave me the list for what we have to have at the camp this summer to wear to work in."

Serenity said, "Mind if I look at the list, Billie?"

Billie Jo handed over the list and this is what was on the list.

_-5 polo type T-shirts_

_-5 regular T-shirts, in white or light colors_

_-2 pair denims_

_-2 pair "boyfriend pants" or capri's (girls only)_

_-5 pair shorts, 2 pair have to be cargo_

_-2 pair khaki cargo pants_

_-3 pairs of shoes-2 pairs of sneakers and 1 pair of hiking boots_

_-2 one piece swimsuits(girls), 2 pair swim trunks(boys)_

_-Underwear, socks and toiletries_

"That's going to cost a pretty penny." Serenity said, if it costs too much at Messer's, we're going to Wally World to get underwear, socks and toiletries, they'll be cheaper there, might have to go to the outlet and thrift stores to get some of the stuff on the list. The thrift stores will only take cash."

"Ginny said, "Now I see why you told me to pack an overnight bag, it's going to take a long time to shop."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6 – Spiders, Snakes and Goodness Sakes

_Meanwhile back at the camp..._

Gaby and Mel were busy setting up projects for the preschool day camp at the camp lodge, when Rebecca called them over to where she was standing watching them sort out the construction paper, safety scissors and other art supplies.

Rebecca said, "Okay, after lunch, we'll have to check the cabins and latrines for spiders and snakes, you gals aren't parselmouths are you?

"NO!" Mel and Gaby replied.

After lunch, armed with bug spray and long sticks, the three went into the cabins and latrines looking for bugs, spiders and snakes. Luckily, they did not find any snakes, but used quite a bit of bug spray in killing the bugs and spiders.

"Okay," Rebecca said, "lets go back to the house and have an early supper before the company comes this evening. You'll like the Malfoy twins, Melanie."

Phillip and William Malfoy, otherwise known as Phil and Will, were the twin sons of Lewis Malfoy, the estranged twin brother of Lucious Malfoy. Lewis got out of Great Britain in the 1970's after Voldermort appeared, cutting ties with his brother after an argument. You can guess what the argument was about. After coming to the states, he married a distant cousin of Molly Weasley. Every thing was perfect in the Malfoy- Prewitt household, until Lewis' untimely demise, when he was killed by a bolder, driving his car, due to a rock slide. They were friends with Serenity Potter, who's mother was killed in an airplane crash about the same time. Phil and Will were blond-headed versions of their distant cousins, Fred and George Weasley, always pranking, full of laughs, the life of the party, you get the picture.

That evening, after dinner, a noise came from the fireplace. Two blond-headed boys, covered in soot came out of the fireplace, where William Westmorland was waiting for them.

"Boys, the ladies are in the kitchen." William said, "I've got to go, squib family just found out their child is magical, see you later."

Phil and Will went into the kitchen where Rebecca, Mel, and Gaby were waiting for the boys. Gaby knew Phil and Will and hugged them both. "And who is this?" they said pointing at Mel. She introduced herself to the boys and they hugged her back.

Phil said, "So where's Billie Jo...?"

"...and what's the plans for tomorrow?" Will asked.

Rebecca said, "Billie Jo will be back tomorrow evening, she's gone shopping in Preston Heights with her cousins and your distant cousin Ginny Weasley. She's a nice girl and no pranks around her you two, understand?"

"CRYSTAL CLEAR!" The boys said in unison.

"So Gaby, how does it feel to be a junior councilor this year?" Phil asked.

Gaby said, "I get to work with 3,4 and 5 year oldz, they'll be doing a lot of arts and crafts, you guyz just have to teach them how to swim. The way I zee it, I got the eazy job. Mel will be helping me."

Will replied, "Des Prunes, Gaby! What are you going to do, say if the runts try to eat paste? Or you run out of glitter?

"I'll think of zomething, besidez je ne travaille pas pour des prunes, correct Madame Rebecca?"

Rebecca replied, "No, you don't work for peanuts, Gaby."

Mel asked, "Would someone care to translate for me what prunes are besides fruit in French?"

_Back in Preston Heights..._

Sarah Martin was cleaning up her bedroom when her pager started to vibrate. On it was the message: Meet me at the outlet mall – BJ

Sarah yelled, "Dad I need a portkey made, Billie Jo wants me to meet her at the outlet mall."

"You have your hearing aids in both ears?" her father asked.

"Yeah, dad." Sarah replied, "Can I go?"

"Sure, just be back before curfew tonight." Her father replied. "Tell Billie Jo she's welcome to spend the night here at the house if she wants."

"Okay dad." Sarah said.

Sarah took the portkey to a wooded area outside the mall where she landed in a tree. _I HATE PORTKEYS _she thought to herself.

But Billie Jo was waiting in the parking lot inside the limo with Harry, Ginny and Serenity, when she heard a crashing sound nearby.

"That's probably Sarah, her dad's a bit off when making portkeys." Billie Jo said. "C'mon let's see if she needs our help."

They got out of the limo and ran towards the woods, when Serenity said, "There she is."

"SERENITY, BILLIE JO GET ME OUT OF THIS TREE, I DON'T HAVE MY WAND!" Sarah screamed.

After Billie Jo levitated Sarah out of the tree, introductions were made. Sarah then said, "I guess dad will have to make more room at the house."

Serenity said, "It will save me some money, I was going to get rooms at the local motel for us tonight."

"Well," Sarah said, "what are we waiting for, let's go shopping."

That evening in the Martin household was crazy. But there was plenty of pizza and soda pop to go around. After the girls went upstairs to bed, Harry had a conversation with Mr. Martin about dealing with Sarah's disability and her magic, when they heard some noise coming from upstairs.

"The girls are probably gossiping about the usual stuff," Mr. Martin said, "boys, makeup, music...magic spells, you get it?"

Harry said, "Mr. Martin, I have the perfect thing if you want to eavesdrop on them. Ginny's brothers, Fred and George..."

_Meanwhile, upstairs in Sarah's room..._

"So, what are your intentions with my cousin Harry, Ginny?" Serenity asked.

Ginny replied, "My hints and flirting with him are dropping like dead flies. I want to go out with him, but he acts like he's not ready yet to make a commitment."

The gossip and makeovers continued unsuspecting to the young ladies, two males were eavesdropping with some extendable ears right outside their door.

Harry and Mr. Martin were both in a fit of giggles and Harry saying, "Hush, they'll hear us."

Billie Jo asked, "Sarah, did you soundproof the room? Because I think you've got an eavesdropper outside your bedroom."

"Shit," Sarah replied, "if it's my dad, he's getting a tongue lashing from me."

On the other side of the door, Harry and Mr. Martin were hiding the extendable ears in their jean pockets. "Just follow my lead, Harry." Mr. Martin said as he knocked on Sarah's door.

"Girls go to bed, Harry and me are trying to sleep, he woke me up saying he couldn't sleep with all the noise coming from up here." Mr. Martin said.

Sarah peeked her head out the door and said, "Sorry you two, we'll go to bed in a bit." She closed the door.

"Do you think they were eavesdropping on us?" Serenity asked.

"Harry wouldn't do that, he knows better." Ginny said.

_French Translations_

_Des Prunes-No Way!_

_Je ne travaille pas pour des prunes.- I don't work for peanuts._


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7 – Back Across the Pond

_At the Burrow the next day..._

"Ron, come down here." Mrs. Weasley said. "You have a guest waiting for you."

Ron Weasley came down the stairs and looked at the living room. There was Neville Longbottom getting the soot off from his clothes.

Mrs. Weasley said, "I'll leave you two alone to chat." She then left the room.

"So, Neville," Ron asked, "What brings you to my place?"

"Just wanted to know if you had heard from Harry." Neville said. "What are plans for his 16th birthday?"

Ron said, "He's across the pond in the states with his distant cousins, the Westmorlands..."

"As the Westmorland's who are kin to Professor Snape?" Neville asked. "Gran's spoken of them before, some of them ended up magical, some didn't."

Ron replied, "Yes, those Westmorlands. Ginny's working as a councilor at the muggle type camp they run for magical kids. She's helping with the cooking also at the camp."

Neville asked, "What about Harry? How's he doing?"

"Ginny, his cousins Billie Jo and Serenity and a friend of theirs, took Harry shopping for muggle clothes yesterday. Trust me, Neville, those hand-me-downs from his cousin Dudley didn't fit him right." Ron said. "Hey, you want to go to Fred and George's shop in Diagon Alley?"

"Sure, let me floo Gran." Neville said.

Ron yelled, "MOM! NEVILLE AND I ARE GOING TO FRED AND GEORGE'S!"

Molly Weasley said, "You two be careful!"

_At Hermione's house that night..._

"So, Luna," Mr. Granger said, "Hermione says you're top in your class at Hogwarts."

Luna Lovegood replied, "Yes, Sir. My mother was a muggleborn like Hermione. Too bad she had a freak potions accident at home and it killed her."

"That's sad to hear." Mrs. Granger said. "So how have you been doing being raised by your father? I bet he gets lonely."

Luna replied, "I tried to play matchmaker a couple of times, but he's obsessed with the magical magazine that he owns, The Quibbler. Everything to him has to be the truth or else. You muggles could compare it to what do you call it... oh yeah, the tabloids. He's very picky, but he means well. I think the nargles are starting to get at him, though."

Mr. Granger asked, "What are nargles?"

"It's a magical slang thing, Dad." Hermione said. "Right, Luna?"

"You could say that, Hermione, but if I tried to explain it to your muggle parents, they may not get it."

Luna said.

At that moment, green flames shot out of the fireplace and Ginny Weasley's voice was heard. "Hermione, are you home?"

"Yes, I'm here and so is Luna." Hermione said. "How did the shopping trip go with Harry?"

Ginny replied, "Well, we ran into a spot of trouble..."

_Earlier that day, back in Preston Heights..._

"Bye, Sarah!" Billie Jo said as she waved from the limo Serenity had. "See you at the camp in a couple of days!" as the limo drove off to the airport to Serenity's private jet.

Harry said, "I can't belive that we ran into Rita Skeeter this morning. Of all things she was on vacation here in Preston Heights the same time we were shopping!"

"Dad told me about her," Serenity said, "Don't let her get your goat."

Ginny said, "You don't know how ruthless she is, Serenity. I can see it now in tomorrow's _Daily Prophet... Harry Potter's Harem!"_

Billie Jo said, "Do what the muggle celebrities do... sue the rag!"

"Well, thank goodness we have Luna Lovegood's father's magazine on our side." Harry said. We are going to have to get in contact with him for an interview ASAP."

_Back at Hermione's house..._

"That bitch..."

"Language, Hermione!" Mrs. Granger said.

Luna said, "Mrs. Granger, Rita Skeeter is one woman you don't want to mess with. She's known as a gossip writer. Why she even said that Hermione and Harry were dating or she was fooling around with someone else!"

Mr. Granger said, "Hermione, if you had told us about Rita Skeeter, we could have gotten a magical lawyer, Dumbledore said so."

"I didn't want you and mum to worry about me." Hermione said. "Besides, the _Daily Prophet_ is more becoming a tabloid."

Ginny said, "Luna, Harry wants to do an interview with the Quibbler as soon as possible, do you think you can get your dad to handle it?"

"I'll floo him tomorrow morning, he's probably busy right now." Luna said. "Besides, I think it's time he took a vacation anyway."

_Sometime later, back at the Westmorland's..._

"Ron's going to think he's seeing double trouble when he meets Phillip and William." Harry said to Ginny, as they walked to the cabin where Ginny was to stay that summer at the camp. He helped her with her trunk, getting it inside. After he got it in, he asked her, "So... ready to learn how to do laundry the muggle way, tomorrow?"

Ginny asked, "Why? Won't a scourgify spell work on the new clothes?"

"No, they have to be washed by hand or use a washing machine." Harry said. "Rebecca's going to let us use the big washers and dryers that the campers use for their clothing and household materials such as napkins and tablecloths. You wash your underwear by hand using liquid detergent and let it air dry. The rest of the clothes are to be washed in 3 seperate piles: Light colors, Medium colors and Dark colors using either liquid or powder. Just follow the instructions on the bottle or the box on how much to use, Ginny."

Ginny said, "I always wash my knickers by hand, Harry. I haven't got dishpan hands, I've got panty hands."

Harry laughed at that comment, which got him a dirty look from Ginny... and a slap with a pillow across the back of his head.

"Come on Gin," Harry said, "I was only joking with you."

"Oh, yeah", she said, "and I know you had to be eavesdropping on us girls last night!" She said, as she whacked Harry with the pillow again.

Harry grabbed the other pillow that was on the bed and hit her with it saying, "Oh, yeah? Well for your information, Miss Weasley, you females were keeping us males awake with whatever you girls were doing, someone forgot to put a silencing charm on the door!" He hit her with the pillow again.

They both yelled, "PILLOW FIGHT!"

The feathers from the pillows flew all over the cabin and onto the floor when two voices spoke up and disturbed the pillow fight. It was Phil and Will Malfoy.

Phil said, "You know a pillow fight between 2 people..."

"...of the opposite sex..." Will said.

Phil said, "... could be translated..."

"...as sexual frustration." Will said.

Ginny and Harry gave the twins dirty looks and said together, "SHOVE IT, MALFOY!"

_The next day, back in England..._

Luna Lovegood had to make an appointment to see her own father at work. When she entered her dad's office to tell him of Harry Potter's request for an interview.

"And when does Harry want to do the interview?" Xenophilius Lovegood asked his daughter.

Luna replied, "He wants to do it on his birthday, plus he wants you to do interviews with his cousin Serenity Potter and the Westmorlands."

"I remember William Westmorland, Luna. Your mother when you were a tot dragged us to his sermon during what the muggles called a revival. She wanted to prove me wrong about squibs, he is a great speaker." Mr. Lovegood said.

"So," Luna asked, "What do you want me to tell him, dad?"

"I'll do the interviews," Mr. Lovegood said, "besides I haven't been to the states in years when I went hunting for bearcats in Ohio."


	8. Chapter 8

As usual the standard disclaimer applies: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers is mine!

Chapter 8 – The Camping Biz

_Gaby's P.O.V._

What did I get myself into? Dealing with 3, 4 and 5 year old kids, that's what! It's a big change from being the camper to being a councilor. But Madame Rebecca thinks that I can handle it... with a little help of course. Melanie Rawlings is the same age as I am, but she does not do wandless magic like I do, so she does things the muggle way, which I can understand. Oh, crap! Little Suzy just told me that Joey got paste in his eye...

_Ginny's P.O.V._

I have new respect for the house elves at Hogwarts. I have to be up early in the morning to help prepare lunch for about 100 people. Plus, I have to serve the food also. Hair nets are a hassle to deal with! After lunch, I help with inventory to see what is needed in the kitchen for the next day's cooking and floo to Charlotte to get it. Sometimes, I have to go to a muggle place called a supermarket to get big cans of food or in bulk with money that Mrs. Westmorland gives me. One of the girls at the camp that helps me is Suzanne Yakamoto. She helps with the muggle stuff, while I do the grocery shopping. She is going to come to Hogwarts this year with Billie Jo and the rest of her gang and has been asking me questions about life at Hogwarts. Boy, is she going to be in for a real culture shock!

_Joseph Redfeather's P.O.V._

I got a letter today from my stepmom, Tiara. Just the usual, checking up on me and seeing how I was dealing with Harry Potter as a bunk mate. Harry has been going with me to group therapy, along with Billie Jo twice a week, to deal with our losses. Billie Jo lost her brother in a muggle shooting, Harry lost his godfather and I lost my dad to cancer. Harry and I have gotten along pretty well, except not only is he the boy-who-lived, he's the boy who snores! I have to act as his bodyguard around the older campers. They're in awe of him thanks to that scar on the forehead and I know he hates that kind of attention. Oh, darn it, Gaby just told me that Joey Bullicetti pasted his eyelids together, got to fix this!

_Harry's P.O.V._

Well, so far, I haven't gotten into any trouble, that is major trouble. I get to see Ginny on evenings I don't have group therapy with Billie Jo and Joseph. I talk with Ron and Hermione by floo almost every day. But Rebecca and William do not let me be lazy all the time. I help out with the laundry and cleaning the latrines, that's a type of outdoor toilet. I was confused at first that you didn't flush them at all, that you had to put chemicals in the pits to dissolve poop. The running of a camp is no Sunday picnic, trust me!

**Next chapter: Rita Skeeter gets her "just desserts".**


	9. Chapter 9

As usual the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers, is mine!

Chapter 9- The Verdict of the Death of Billy Westmorland

_Sometime in late July..._

The camp had done very well that summer and Harry's 16th birthday was coming up at the end of the month. But something else was going on at the same time. There was a verdict in the murder of Billie Jo's twin brother Billy. Rebecca and William had been taking turns flooing to Preston Heights for the trial over a two week period. And the guilty decided to plead guilty, to avoid a death sentence to be given by the muggle court jury.

Xenophilius Lovegood could not pass up a chance to cover the proceedings of the muggle judicial system, after all to him, it wasn't that much different than wizarding law, wasn't it? He got permission to cover the trial, thanks to the judge, who was a squib.

Judge James Martin, no relation to Sarah, was formally a lawyer who handled muggle and magical cases. This was Jim Martin's first murder case and he did not want any shenanigans in the courtroom, especially from the press. To the muggle press it was Minister's Son Killed By Gang Member. To the magical press it was Prominent Family Heir Killed By Muggle Thug. Billy Westmorland was in the wrong place when a teen girl was shot. Shortly after Billy treated the girl with magic, he was shot and killed.

But the person that was shot survived to tell the tale and with the help of ballistic reports, the person was caught getting ready to make a drug deal, when he was arrested.

Even Rita Skeeter wanted to cover the trial, to which she was denied access to the courtroom, she went into "beetle mode". But she got a big surprise... When Judge Martin said "Court Adjourned", she was almost squashed to death by the judge's gavel and ended up injured. When the courtroom was cleared, she had enough strength to apperate to the local magical hospital, where the local authorities were waiting for her for questioning. It just wasn't her day.

"Well, I got one of my birthday wishes." Billie Jo said. "The guy who killed my brother is away for life." She said to Harry.

"Yeah, too bad the muggle press is camped outside the entrance of the camp to get word from you or your parents a story about it." Harry said. "What I wouldn't do right now with my invisibility cloak and a few of Fred and George's stinkbombs... and my broom."

"Harry James Potter, what have you got up your sleeve?" William Westmorland asked.

"Mom", Billie Jo asked, "Do you know how to make stinkbombs?"

"Of course, give me a couple of hours though." Rebecca Westmorland said.

_A few hours later..._

"Bill, honey," Rebecca said, "It's the only possible way we can lose the press. Make Harry and Billie Jo invisible, jinx the cameras, then throw the stinkbombs from mid-air."

"Let me try to get rid of the press first." William said. He grabbed a bullhorn, walked halfway up the driveway and said, "PLEASE LEAVE THE ENTRANCE OF THE PROPERTY OR WE WILL CALL THE AUTHORITIES. YOU HAVE 15 MINUTES!"

Of the 20 some muggle reporters camped out there, only 5 left.

Suddenly the cameras were falling off their tripods, breaking on the ground. Then came the combination stinkbombs with a bit of pepper spray.

William called the authorities and soon there were cops and paramedics at the entrance of the camp, treating the press.

It just wasn't their day.

**I don't know when the next chapter will be up, I have to go into the hospital for tests on Monday. **


	10. Chapter 10

As usual the standard disclaimer...anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers is mine!

Chapter 10 – Harry's 16th Birthday Party...With Some Conversations

Harry was excited about his birthday, not only was the "Ministry Six" were going to be reunited, he was going to meet the rest of Billie Jo's "gang" that was going to be at Hogwarts in September. Rebecca Westmorland, with the help of her house elves, got the house and backyard prepared for what was going to be a birthday Harry would not forget, hopefully. Harry saw the decorations and said, "Rebecca, you didn't have to make a big fuss over my birthday, the cake and presents would have done just fine with me."

Rebecca replied, "Oh, pish posh, Harry, It's not everyday you turn 16, you know. Too bad my Billy isn't here to celebrate here with us, so it's a combination of your birthday, your friend Neville and Billie Jo's birthdays because they all fall at about the same time. Just don't tell Billie Jo what we got for her, ok?"

"Mum's the word, Rebecca." Harry said with a laugh, "She'll want to shrink it and take it to Hogwarts..."

"Shrink what?" Billie Jo asked as she walked into the living room.

"Your birthday present, we was talking about it." Harry replied.

Billie Jo replied, "So, I'm getting something big, eh? Sure you and dad could afford it?"

"We had some help from Serenity, that's all I'm saying." Rebecca said.

* * *

><p>Molly Weasley: Rebecca, I don't know how you do it, balancing the muggle world with the magical world, Arthur would have a field day asking you and William questions if he was here, too bad he had to work today.<p>

Rebecca Westmorland: I learned pretty quick after me and William got married what it was like to be a spy's wife. That is a muggle spy of course. Then William went into the religious work before we had the twins.

Augusta Longbottom: Rebecca, you must give me the recipe for this Red Velvet Cake, it's delicious.

RW: Actually, Augusta, it's a muggle cake mix, I didn't have time to make one homemade. I'll have to find a recipe for one for you.

MW: You do muggle cooking?

RW: Sometimes the muggle way is better than the magical way, cooking wise, Molly. You don't have to slave over a hot stove everyday, if you know what I mean. Thank goodness for a microwave.

AL: I've heard of those, they cook certain types of food quick, right? I've been wanting to get electricity hooked up at the manor, but I'm afraid the muggle workers might get too curious.

* * *

><p>Melanie Rawlings: So, Grant, excited about going to Hogwarts?<p>

Grant Gomez: Yeah, but I'll miss the states though. And my sister Ida will be there with Billie Jo and her crew.

Gaby Delecour: I'm dreading the zorting. According to Fred and George Weazley the zorting hat can read your mind.

Melanie: That's an invasion of privacy!

Grant: How can a ratty old hat read your mind?

* * *

><p><em>Ron's P.O.V.<em>

There's some good looking girls here at the party, think I'll check out the cute blond...

Fred Weasley: …and that's how you make stinkbombs with mace, Phil.

George Weasley: We've been bugging our mum to test them on garden gnomes, but she won't let us.

Will Malfoy: Hate to to burst your bubble, Fred, but Billie Jo's mom made some that made the muggle press scram from the property a few days ago.

Phil Malfoy: Go ask her for her recipe, she learned it from Harry's dad.

Fred: Are you crazy? She'd tell our mom.

George: Are you two our distant cousins?

Phil: Just don't forget...

Will:... that we are also part Malfoy...

Ron: Hi, I'm Harry's friend Ron... and you are?

Sarah Martin: Occupied with someone else, now beat it!

Kevin Allison: What are you doing hitting on my girlfriend?

Ron: Sorry, didn't know she was yours.

Ron was tossed into the swimming pool.

"Next time someone tells you to beat it, SCRAM!" Kevin Allison said.

Molly Weasley: Oh, dear, what did Ron do this time?

William Westmorland: Looked like he tried flirting with Sarah Martin and he got her boyfriend mad.

Hermione: Serenity, I'll have to think about your job offer, why didn't you offer it to Harry?

Serenity: I did, he told me to ask you, instead.

Hermione: I don't know...

Serenity: You can give me an answer during the Christmas holiday. I've talked to my dad, he said you would be better suited for it.

Harry: Mr. Lovegood, what do you think so far of the party?

Xeno. Lovegood: I'm surprised how the Westmorlands balance the magic and the non-magic lifestyle. Plus your cousin Serenity is one smart young lady.

Billie Jo: I heard that the authorities kicked Rita Skeeter out of the U.S.

Xeno. Lovegood: Yes, she was deported, sent back to Britain on what the muggles call an airplane.

Ginger Harris: You know my cousin Seamus Finnigan?

Luna Lovegood: Yeah, sometimes he has a case of the nargles, though.

Ginger: Huh?

Joseph Redfeather: Weasley, you shouldn't have flirted with Sarah Martin, her boyfriend was right beside her.

Ron: How was I to know?

James "Jimmy" Black: Reminds me of some tales that Rebecca told me about my distant cousin Sirius, he would have a laugh about this, I bet.

Suzanne Yakamoto: Do you know what Billie Jo is getting for her birthday?

Andy Parkinson: I bet it's a car.

Ida Gomez: Yeah, she's been working all summer getting ready for her driver's permit.

Ginny Weasley: Harry's getting a car also, a red one. Serenity told me she had a hard time finding them though, something about model year.

Billie Jo and Harry both got 1980 Mustangs, Harry's was Candy Apple Red with a gold lion on the hood, while Billie Jo's was white with blue trim.

Serenity said, "I found them, Becky and Will paid for the engines, paint jobs and interiors, except I paid for Harry's and they paid for Billie Jo's"

"Serenity, it's too much... thank you!" Harry said. "Rebecca and William didn't tell me you were going to get me a car!"

"Think nothing of it cousin, you deserve it." Serenity said.

Neville thought, "Oh,geeze! They get cars for their birthday presents and all I get is a new broom!"


	11. Chapter 11

As usual, the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers, is mine!

Chapter 11: Introduction to the Blackcats

_Sometime in mid-August..._

"Now, let me get this straight," Hermione said, "You guys are a bunch of junior spies?"

"Yup." Phil Malfoy said.

"Uh-huh." Will Malfoy said.

"As if my distant cousin Pansy is a crazy you-know-what!" Andy Parkinson said.

Hermione couldn't help but laugh at that comment and said, "I'll agree with you there, Parkinson."

Tiara Rosenberg-Redfeather looked at the crowd of her young students-junior CIA agents at their facility set up by the Order of the Phoenix in Hogsmeade. Along with Johnathan Rawlings and Daniel Kauffman, the facility was going to also be the training and meeting place for the bunch of students-spies known as The Blackcats in certain circles. Therefore, the place in Hogsmeade was nicknamed "The Cats Lair II."

The Blackcats, were Billie Jo Westmorland, Sarah Martin, Ginger Harris, Ida Gomez, Suzanne Yakamoto, Joseph Redfeather, James Black, Phil and Will Malfoy, Kevin Allison and Andy Parkinson.

Albus Dumbledore was having a conversation with Arthur Weasley regarding The Blackcats and their use of guns in use when and if the fight comes against Voldermort. Arthur was voicing his worries about them using the guns at a young age.

"Arthur," Albus said, "Tiara told me those children have learned to use various weapons since they were 13 years old and can use their wands well also. I have faith in them and wish I could move as well as they do, again."

"But which Hogwarts students do you want here next week before term starts, besides my children, Harry, Hermione, Luna and Neville?" Arthur asked.

"I've owled Susan Bones, Astoria Greengrass, Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas." Albus said. "All they know is that they are going to be helping out the Yanks get used to Hogwarts."

_A few days later on the Hogwarts Express..._

"Greengrass, I assume you know the decorum you have to keep while you are in Slytherin. Not even a word about this to your younger sister Daphne."

"Crystal clear," Astoria said. "Crystal clear, Professor Snape."


	12. Chapter 12

As usual the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers is mine!

Chapter 12- the train ride to Hogwarts

_On the Hogwarts express, September 1st..._

"Harry James Potter, what are you suggesting I do?" Billie Jo asked. "It's Draco Malfoy we're talking about here, he ain't no spring chicken."

Ron said, "C'mon Billie, his 2 goons Crabbe and Goyle are complete idiots. You shouldn't have a problem with them."

"What have you got up your sleeve?" Hermione asked, "You're living up to the expression "preacher's brat, dirty rat", Billie"

Billie Jo said, "Harry and Ron here want me to teach Draco Malfoy a lesson... or at least make him poop in his britches. Hey Ida."

Ida Gomez replied, "What, BJ?"

"Who's that distant relative of yours that can sing and dance?" Billie Jo asked.

"Jennifer", Ida said with a laugh, "She has to fight the guys off with a stick!"

"Do you think you can use your metamorphagus ability to turn into her?" Billie Jo asked.

Ida said, "Well, I might have a bit of trouble with my hair... ok, I'm in."

Billie Jo said, "OK, here's how it's going to go down..."

_A little while later..._

Draco Malfoy was sitting in a compartment with Crabbe and Goyle, when Blaise Zabini came to the compartment door with a pretty Hispanic girl.

Blaise said, "This is one of the American students, Ida Gomez," Blaise said. "She's hoping she'll be sorted into Slytherin."

Draco greeted her with a kiss on the right hand, in which Ida blushed. After introductions Ida started flirting with Draco until a knock came at the compartment door. It was Billie Jo acting "pissed off" at Ida for flirting with Draco and the fight that started like this...

Billie Jo said, "You stay away from my man, I saw him first!"

Ida replied, "Who said he was yours... bitch!"

Why you...

Bring it on!

A carefully executed "fight" went into motion in which hair was pulled, fists flying... and 4 young men just standing there "egging" on the fight.

Then suddenly it went dark... thanks to a packet of Peruvian Darkness Powder that Billie Jo had slipped into Ida's hand quickly, which she threw in the air.

When the darkness cleared, there were only 4 young men in the compartment... and no girls.

"Where did the girls go?" Draco asked. "The fighting was hot and heavy."

Blaise said, "I don't know, but I have to go to the john, I'll be back in a few minutes."

Blaise left the compartment and walked down the train to the girl's restroom and knocked on the door and said, "Westmorland, you in there?"

Now if you're getting curious why Blaise Zabini was helping out, he wanted to get back at Crabbe and Goyle for making remarks about him some time ago dating Astoria Greengrass. Draco to him was going to have to learn his lesson about having Crabbe and Goyle as his goons. Blaise told Astoria what he had heard and she told Billie Jo on the train.

Now Blaise had to get Billie Jo to finish the rest of the prank when he knocked on the bathroom door. "Almost ready, Zabini."

Billie Jo came out of the restroom with 2 cloaks in her arms, 1 of them was Harry's invisibility cloak.

"Wow, is that what I think it is?" Blaise asked, "If it is it's wicked!"

Billie Jo said, "If you're thinking what that is, it's Harry's, bummed it off of him for this prank."

Blaise asked, "You got enough Instant Darkness powder?"

"Yeah, Fred and George Weasley got a nice fat paycheck from Uncle Sam this week." Billie Jo said.

Blaise asked, "Who's Uncle Sam?"

Billie Jo replied, "Slang term for the U.S. Government. Now, about those 3 dudes..."

_Oooh, a cliffhanger..._


	13. Chapter 13

As usual the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers is mine!

Chapter 13 – Don't Fear the Reaper

_Back in the train..._

"So Ida, how did the fight go?" Harry asked.

Ida replied, "Just as planned. Billie Jo's getting ready to do her best grim reaper imitation. We should be hearing a blood curdling scream any moment."

Suddenly, a scream was heard on the train. A few minutes later, Billie Jo came back into the compartment and told Harry what had happened.

"Blaise is keeping an eye on them, but as an added bonus, I got some chick named Pansy to pass out also!" Billie Jo said.

"PARKINSON", Harry, Ron and Neville said together.

"You got my cousin Pansy also, cool!" Andy Parkinson said. "Dad said she was one can shy of a six pack."

A knock was heard at the compartment. Into the compartment walked in Ida's brother, Grant.

"We're going to be at Hogwarts in about an hour." Grant said. "Does anybody know what all the screaming was about?"

"Billie Jo and I pulled a prank on some bullies, little bro." Ida said. "We pranked them good."

"Ya better hope that the 'fessors don't find out or your ass is grass, big sis!" Grant said.

Hermione said, "same thing your little brother said."

Eventually, Blaise got some smelling salts and woke up Draco, Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy.

"What the hell happened, Zabini?" Draco asked, "I saw something that looked like a death eater!"

Crabbe, Goyle and Pansy nodded in agreement.

Draco said, "It was saying that our time was running out!"

Short chapter I know, but the next chapter will be the sorting.


	14. Chapter 14

Standard Disclaimer Applies: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers is mine!

Chapter 14 – Getting to Know You

_Back to the train..._

Harry, Ron, Neville, Andy and Grant went to another part of the train to get dressed in their uniforms, leaving Hermione with Billie Jo and Ida Gomez, when a knock came at the compartment door. Astoria Greengrass, Ginny, Luna, Ginger Harris, Sarah Martin and Suzanne Yakamoto came in.

"Billie Jo, can I use your eyelash curler?" Suzanne asked.

"Suz, remember what Ms. Tiara said," Ginger said, "Minimal make-up..."

"Clear Mascara, no eye shadow or liner..." Sarah said.

"And no blush." Ida added.

Hermione said, "No make-up in potions either."

Ginny said, "It can get hot in the dungeons."

"That's what killed my mother, she had too much make-up on her face and it got in the potion by sweating." Luna said.

Astoria said, "And no perfume either, just deodorant in potions. Billie Jo, that prank you pulled with the help of Ida worked, according to Blaise, you belong in Slytherin."

"I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or an insult." Billie Jo said. "Thank goodness us from the Academy are staying in Hogsmeade during our visit and will just be flooing to Hogwarts in the morning and leaving in the evening after dinner."

"What are you going to do on weekends?" Ginny asked.

"What teenaged witches and wizards do on the weekend." Billie Jo said. "Take it easy as much as possible."

Ida said, "Too bad I'm going to miss my little brother's sorting. I was wanting to see it."

"You'll find out soon enough." Luna said.

The train finally approached Hogwarts and the students got off the train, first years to the boats, second years and up to the carriages. Grant Gomez, Melanie Rawlings and Gabrielle Delecour shared a boat that floated up to the castle along with the other first years. At the castle Professor McGonagal gave her usual speech to the first years then went off to check to see if things were ready for the sorting. In the crowd, a blond headed young boy wearing glasses said arrogantly, "I hear we have some Americans being sorted this year."

"Yeah, what's it to ya?" Grant said

"Nothing, just saying." The blond said.

"Can it Malfoy, your mother was a whore and your dad's in jail." Another male said, "Who needs to hear you talk!"

Melanie said, "Don't pick on him like that, he can't help it what his parents do, sins of the father and all that jazz!"

Professor McGonagal came back at about the time Melanie said her words and said. "I agree with you Miss Rawlings, now all of you can come in and be sorted."

The first years lined up 2x2 and entered the Great Hall. At the front of the hall were professors and a stool with a pointed hat on it. Suddenly it started to speak a rhyme.

_A new year has come upon us,_

_But also a lot of fuss._

_For there are those who are among us,_

_That like to cause trouble and cuss._

_Oh. there are people who curse every now and then,_

_But some of them are living in sin._

_Call me holier-than-art-thou,_

_But what I've got to say, you'll say, "Wow"_

_You'll find true friends this year,_

_And you'll find your home, my dears._

_So go ahead, put me on your head,_

_I'm not dead, for I'm the sorting hat!_

The crowd mildly applauded as Professor Dumbledore approached the first years and said, "Now it is time for you to be sorted. And I would ask the staff and other students to be polite and helpful to the American students that will be here this year."

As the sorting went on it was Gabrielle Delecour's turn to be sorted. The hat went on her head and the hat spoke: OOOh part veela, brains and courage-GRYFFINDOR!

But next was Grant Gomez and the hat spoke: Cocky little yank, are you? Maybe I aught put you in Hufflepuff or Slytherin?

Grant muttered, "Put me in Gryffindor or I'll have Gaby Delecour turn ya into a tea cozy! She's good with arts and crafts!"

The hat said: GRYFFINDOR!

Later, it was the nerdy blond kid, Malfoy. Lucian Malfoy.

The hat said: A horse of a different color, to put you in Slytherin would hurt your self-esteem and you need friends. Hufflepuff or Gryffindor?

"Not Hufflepuff, please." Lucian said, "put me where Harry Potter is at."

The hat said: Very well...GRYFFINDOR!

The hall was silent as Harry Potter was the only one who stood up and greeted him at the Gryffindor table.

Harry whispered, "Me and you have to have a talk later."

At last, it was Melanie Rawlings turn to be sorted.

The hat said: Ach, another American, but you are very smart and gutsy. Ravenclaw perhaps?

Melanie said, "My dad is going to be teaching here this year, I don't want to be bugged about other people's homework to get a good grade."

The hat said: Well, if that's how you feel... GRYFFINDOR!

The sorting had ended.

Professor Dumbledore said, "Now before we eat, we are hosting a school here from the United States this year from..."

OOOh, a cliffhanger... and what about the Malfoy kid?


	15. Chapter 15

As usual the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers is mine!

Chapter 15 – Getting to Know You, Part 2.

"...the Appalachian Academy of Magic and their teacher, Tiara Greenberg-Redfeather." said Professor Dumbledore.

For Tiara, it was a homecoming of sorts, her being the only female seeker for Slytherin's quiddich team during her time at Hogwarts.

And then there was the fact that she was the only Jew ever in Slytherin, but that was between her and the sorting hat.

Now, it was her turn to show her old professors that she was their equal. She entered the great hall first with her students behind her in single file. She approached the front of the professors tables then turned around to face the students.

"Thank you, Professor Dumbledore for the introduction." Tiara said, using a _sonurus_. "Now I would like to introduce my students to your students. Ladies first..."

"IDA GOMEZ"

"GINGER HARRIS"

"SARAH MARTIN"

"WILHILMINA WESTMORLAND"

"SUZANNE YAKAMOTO"

"And now, the gents." Tiara said.

"KEVIN ALLISON"

"JAMES BLACK"

"PHILLIP MALFOY"

"WILLIAM MALFOY"

"ANDREW PARKINSON"

"JOSEPH REDFEATHER"

Tiara continued by saying, "I hope that my students will be a good influence on the Hogwarts students. I will also be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts this term and I would like to remind my old house Slytherin, as we say in the states, "sucking up for brownie points", is not acceptable to me. Although, I wouldn't mind to give a few tips when it comes to quiddich. And now before we eat dinner, I'd like to introduce two of my U.S. Comrades who will also be teaching. The new arithmancy professor, Jonnathan Rawlings and a new subject ok'ed by the Ministry of Magic, Physical Education and Health, the professor will be Daniel Kauffman."

The students applauded to this announcement. "Now it is time to eat dinner and Professor Dumbledore will have an announcement after dinner. Now my students have a seperate table in the back where we will be eating. Eat hearty!" Tiara said.

The food and utinsiles were on the tables.

For Lucian Malfoy it was a bit of a culture shock. He was watching Melanie Rawlings and Grant Gomez eat veggie pizza and was curious about this food that they were eating.

"Could you please pass me a slice of that pizza thing you're eating?" Lucien asked.

Harry said, "You might want to take the round peppers off, Malfoy. They're a bit spicy- Jalepeno's."

Lucien said, "Thanks, Harry."

Gabrielle Delecour passed a slice of pizza to Lucien. He picked off the round peppers and put them aside in his plate.

"Hey, Malfoy." Ron asked, "Going to eat those peppers?"

Lucien said, "If you want them, you can have them. I have a sensitive stomach."

Harry said, "Ron you had better watch out, those aren't mild muggle ones."

"Who's afraid of hot?" Ron said, picking up and eating one of the pepper slices.

It was a bad move on Ron's part, because as soon as he chewed on the pepper, his mouth felt like it was on fire!

Grant Gomez, seeing this reaction on Ron's face, went into action by running to the professors table and asking for sugar and water, while Ron guzzled down the Pumpkin Juice.

"Professor McGonagoll, I need the school nurse's help." Grant said. "Ron Weasley needs sugar and water, plus he needs to be kept watch on the next couple of hours, because he's had a bad reaction to some Jalepeno peppers. Pumpkin Juice won't cut the mustard, if you know what I mean."

"How do you know what to do, Mr. Gomez?" Poppy Pomphrey asked.

Grant replied, "A Mexican healer's daughter, by the name of Maria taught me, mam. One teaspoon of sugar to 8 ounces of water."

Back at the Gryffindor table, Hermione said, "Ron, you shouldn't have eaten that pepper!"

Over at the Slytherin table, Blaise Zabini asked Draco, "Bet you're surprised that your cousin Lucien is in Gryffindor, huh?"

"As far as I'm concerned, he's no relation to me, his mother's a muggle. That makes him a blood traitor, especially what his father did."

Pansy Parkinson said, "Who's that blond up there eating with Professor Snape? She bears a striking resemblance to your mother, Draco."

"Don't know, Pans." Draco said.

After dinner, Professor Dumbledore got the students to sing the Hogwarts Anthem and sent them to their dormitories for the night.

Later that evening in Gryffindor Tower, Harry and Hermione spoke to Lucien. "So, your father is in Azkaban, huh?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, the rumors are true, my dad got sent up the creek, as my mother put it. Got him in on muggle baiting, thanks to my Uncle Lucious." Lucien said

Hermione asked, "Did he get a proper trial?"

"They wouldn't let my mother testify on his behalf, because she was a muggle." Lucien said. "Crazy laws! They won't even allow her to visit him! All she can find out is through one of Dumbledore's spies what is going on with him in Azkaban."

Harry said, "Who's the spy?"

Hermione asked, "Yeah, who is it?"

Lucien said, "If I told you now, I might get into trouble."


	16. Chapter 16

As usual, the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers, is mine!

Chapter 16 – Inferi, Zombies, and Lazarus, oh my!

The school year at Hogwarts for Harry got even more interesting 2 weeks into the term, when Tiara bought up a creepy subject of sorts- coming back from the dead.

"Now class, today we will talk about the Lazarus. It requires the following...Granger?"

Hermione said, "Hair or blood from the deceased person's family member put into a potion which is put on the deceased person's body."

"Correct, 5 points to Gryffindor." Tiara said. "Now how many of you are familiar with the story of Lazarus?"

A few hands were raised in the classroom, mostly muggleborn and half-blood students.

Tiara then said, "Willhelmina, will you tell the story of Lazarus to the class, please?"

Billie Jo stood up and said, "A man by the name of Lazarus was bought back from the dead by Jesus many, many years ago. But the Lazarus can backfire."

"Yes, it can." Tiara said. "Zabini, explain the cons of the Lazarus."

Blaise replied, "It can backfire and make the dead person a Inferi or a Zombie. Plus, even if the Lazarus is performed correctly, there is a 50-50 chance that the formerly deceased could develop mental problems later after being revived to life."

"Correct, 5 points to Slytherin, ." Tiara said. "Which is why it is important and can get you in trouble with the authorities, because if done correctly, that person would be right up there with vampires in magical society. The only way they can die is by commiting suicide."

* * *

><p><p>

At lunch, Harry, Hermione, Billie Jo and Ron were discussing Tiara's lecture in between bites of food.

"I was surprised that you knew about the story of Lazarus, Ron." Hermione said.

Ron replied, "Dad has a copy of the Holy Bible, one of a few muggle books he keeps in the house."

"But you have to wonder if Jesus was a wizard, every now and then." Billie Jo said.

Hermione said, "Too bad it hasn't been proven."

"Especially when Jesus turned the water into wine." Harry said. "Now, Seamus Finnigan turning water into rum would be a miracle!"

_Later that evening in Gryffindor Tower..._

Ginny Weasley was a gal on a mission: To make Harry Potter happy... even if it raised a bit of a stink.

After hearing Tiara's lecture, a plan to bring Harry's parents to life formed in her head. But she had to get some information first... like where they were buried... and some of Harry's hair. Now to get Phil and Will Malfoy to help out...

_The next day..._

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Phil and Will said in unison at Ginny's plan.

Ginny said, "Hush, you two and hear me out, will you? I need some information first regarding their deaths and you guys have access to the stuff I need to know. I want you to use that computer thingy you have...

_A few days later in the Room of Requirement..._

Ginny had the house elves fix a romantic scene for her in a hidden room in the castle and Harry. Just a private dinner between her and Harry and a make-out. _That should do it... _she thought to herself. Sure enough during some heavy kissing with Harry ran her fingers through his hair... and a hickey on her neck...

And now she had the hair and she was waiting on Phil and Will Malfoy to bring back the body of Lily Potter. She was disappointed to find out that James Potter had been cremated and that the Lazarus could not be used on a cremated body, so Lily would have to do instead. She was busy making the potion when Phil and Will came back with Lily Potter's body.

"Had a bit of a trouble getting this body through the castle..." Phil said.

"... we almost had a run-in with Filtch, she's had a stasis spell put on her." Will said, referring to Lily.

Ginny said, "Put her on the bed here, the potion's almost ready."

The boys put her on the bed and unzipped the body bag containing Lily Potter and removed it. She was beautiful, even in death. They decided to administer the potion by IV, which Ginny thought would work the quickest way instead of pouring it on her body. Phil and Will rigged up the IV, but little did they know, they were being watched by Albus Dumbledore, who was hiding nearby.

"Will, I can't get the needle in her due to the stasis spell..." Phil said.

"... which I put on her, Mr. Malfoy." Dumbledore said. "You 3 have some explaining to do."

Ginny said, "It was my idea sir, Harry's been, well, moody lately."

Phil and Will said in unison, "SHE ASKED US TO HELP!"

"And I assume this IV thing is supposed to work quicker than applying the potion directly to the skin?" Dumbledore asked.

Phil said, "Yes, sir."

Will said, "Trust us, sir. We're top notch in potions. The IV is used in our medical training, we know what to do with it."

"Well," Dumbledore said, "what are we waiting for?" He removed the stasis spell from Lily's body and let them hook up the IV to her body.

As the potion went through the body, the body was twitching and jerking back and forth on the bed. Then it stopped... Lily's eyes opened.

Ginny said, "She's awake!"

"Professor Dumbledore," Lily said weakly, "where am I at?"

"You're at Hogwarts, Lily." Dumbledore said.

Lily said, "Where's James... and Harry?" she asked, trying to sit up.

Ginny said, "I'll go get Harry, Professor Dumbledore."

"Miss Weasley, bring your brother and Miss Granger also." Dumbledore said.

Ginny left the room. Lily looked at Dumbledore and said, "after what you told that girl, I can assume that James is dead, isn't he?"

"Mrs. Potter," Phil said, "I'm sorry, your husband is dead."

"Well," Lily said starting to cry, "got to make arrangements to have him cremated, that's what he wished."

"Mrs. Potter," Will said, "He's already been cremated."

Lily said, "Get this damn IV out of my arm and tell me what the bloody hell has happened?!"


	17. Chapter 17

As usual the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers, is mine!

Chapter 17 – The Return of Lily Potter

"YOU DID WHAT WITH MY HAIR?!" Harry said to Ginny, as they were on their way to the Room of Requirement.

Ron said, "Ginny, have you lost your mind?"

"You remember what Ms. Redfeather said about the risks of the Lazarus, Ginny?" Hermione asked.

Ginny replied, "We administered the potion using a muggle method. We used an IV instead of applying directly on the skin. Luckily, Lily was under a stasis spell, so she hadn't decomposed any. The first people she asked for was you and your father, Harry."

At that time, Professor Snape came upon them and said, "Professor Dumbledore sent a patronus to me saying that something had come up regarding you, Potter. What did you do this time?"

"I didn't do anything, sir. Someone else did and it concerns me, that's all I know." Harry said.

"Well," Severus Snape said, "what are we waiting for? The 4 of you, move it!"

Reaching the Room of Requirement, Severus Snape said, "You 4 stay right here until someone comes for you."

It wasn't 30 seconds before they heard a loud thud hit the floor. Phil and Will came to the door and said in unison, "SNAPE FAINTED."

Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny walked into the room. Then Harry got out one word, "Mum." He too fainted.

"Miss Weasley," Dumbledore said, "go fetch Madame Pomphrey and tell her to bring a medical bag and some smelling salts, if you would, please."

Ginny replied, "Right away, Professor Dumbledore."

"Mr. Weasley, would you please escort your cousins Phillip and William by use of the floo back to Hogsmeade in Gryffindor Tower?" Dumbledore asked Ron.

Ron replied, "Yes, Professor. Come on you two, it's almost curfew."

"Miss Granger," Dumbledore said, "will you stay here and answer any questions that Mrs. Potter has to ask while I go fetch Professor McGonagal?"

"I'll answer what I can, sir." Hermione replied, as he left the room.

Lily asked Hermione, "So, you're one of Harry's friends, eh? How's my son doing here at Hogwarts?"

"He's in the top 10 along with me, Mrs. Potter." Hermione said. "I am a muggleborn just like you."

"Please, call me Lily," she replied. "I want to know what's going on in the Muggle and Magical worlds."

"Well, Lily the big thing right now in the Muggle world is the computer Internet, you can find things on there like you wouldn't believe." Hermione said.

**I don't know when I'll have the next chapter up, I'm going to be busy this week.**


	18. Chapter 18

As usual the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Bros.,Harrods or Victoria's Secret is mine!

Chapter 18- Lily and Severus Go Shopping (With the kids, of course.)

_A couple of weeks later..._

Lily was getting used to being alive and went through many medical exams. Plus, she had to go to the Ministry of Magic to be asked questions by the Wizegetmont about that night when Harry became "The Boy Who Lived."

Sirius Black was cleared of all charges and an arrest warrant was issued for Peter Petigrew. A few days later, a tip was given where Petigrew could be found in Wizarding London. The tip paid off and after some wand-to-wand combat, Petigrew was captured and put in a special cell at Azkaban where he could not turn into a rat.

But Severus Snape was cruciated by Lord Voldermort the night that Petigrew was captured along with Lucious Malfoy.

As soon as Severus got back to Hogwarts by a coin portkey hidden in his robes and landed in the infirmary, Madam Pomphrey and Lily were waiting to treat him. As he started to go to sleep, due to a sleeping potion, he muttered: Get Serenity...

_The next day in the Great Hall..._

Harry was reading the Daily Prophet and heard Draco walk off in disgust. _Goody, goody, daddy's in trouble... _Harry thought to himself, when he saw Serenity walk up to him and she asked him, "Mind if I eat with you bunch?"

"Serenity, what are you doing here?" Harry asked. "How's Dudley doing?"

Serenity said, "He's getting adjusted to life at the institute, I'm here on business. After breakfast, I need to talk to you and Hermione. We'll fill in Ron and Ginny later."

During breakfast, Professor Dumbledore announced that Potions Classes were canceled until Monday due to Professor Snape being ill.

Hermione on the other hand, was looking at the professors table at a blond headed woman laughing with Lily. _That woman looks very familiar, except she isn't wearing much make-up _she thought.

After breakfast, with potions being cancelled, they went back to Gryffindor Tower to chat.

Hermione said, "We can use my prefects room to talk, I'll put wards on the door."

She let them into her bedroom and charmed the door so that no one could eavesdrop.

Serenity said, "Dad's not sick, he's injured."

"Let me guess." Harry said. "Crucio. Because I had a nasty headache last night."

"Hole in one, Harry." Serenity said. "Your mum and one of her old friends took turns watching my Dad last night. I got here early this morning, I haven't seen him yet."

Hermione asked, "That woman that was with Harry's mother, she with the order? Because she looks very familiar."

"She ought to." Serenity said. "It's Narcissa Malfoy."

"Draco's Mother?!" Harry said. "Does he know his mom's a spy?"

Serenity said, "Not yet, she's planning on it before too long to tell him."

"Going to be a bit of shock for him when he finds out." Hermione said.

_Two days later on a Saturday..._

"Dad, when was the last time you bought any new underwear?" Serenity said. "I went through your clothes and they are either worn out, had little holes in them, and they are green or black. You don't even have a proper dress robe or a tux."

Severus said, "Serenity..."

She said, "Now, before you say it, Aunt Lily and Narcissa did not put me up to this! And you could use a haircut, also! We're going to Diagon Alley and Muggle London today, no if, and's or buts!"

Harry was running into a similar situation with his mother in another part of the castle but he had backup... in the form of Narcissa Malfoy.

"Mum," Harry said, you can keep the t-shirts and denims, they're always in style, just not the "Mom Jeans or Mom Pants."

Lily asked, "What are Mom Jeans and Mom Pants?"

Narcissa, being the authority only on the fashion of witches, asked him the same thing, "Yes Harry what are they?"

Harry replied, "High waist Muggle pants."

"Well," Narcissa said, "Lily, I want to take you shopping in Diagon Alley and Harrods in London... today! Harry can come also.

"I'll just stay here," Harry said, "you women do the shopping. I'd stick out like a sore thumb in the Woman's department at Harrods."

"Harry James Potter, listen to me." Narcissa said. "We need you to come, so we can have a male opinion."

Lily giggled and said, "And we need someone to carry the bags."

Serenity had a hard time getting her father to get a hair cut. She gave the barber in Hogsmead strict instructions not to cut it less than 3 centimeters yet leave it no longer than 8 centimeters in the back and sides. After the haircut, they went into Muggle London to a discount store and a department store. They then went to Harrods.

"Dad, you need a proper suit and a tux." Serenity said. "You never know when you are going to have to go to a Muggle gathering or wedding."

Severus said, "I'm just dreading the price of the clothing in here, Harrods being expensive, if you know what I mean."

"Dad, I can help pay for what you need, I'm one of the richest kids in the muggle world, duh?" Serenity said. "Don't worry, I've got the credit card handy. Now, if I had a calculator to convert dollars into pounds... Hey, let me get the suit and tux for you and you can get me a late lunch at Diagon Alley, deal?"

Severus said, "Deal."

But in Woman's Clothing, poor Harry was left carrying the bags of Muggle stores. The ultimate humiliation came to him when they went to Victoria's Secret.

"Mum, I don't want to go in there." Harry said. "They sell underwear in there, very lacy."

Lily said, "Consider this an advanced lesson in Sex Ed, then. You were taught it 4th year, wasn't you?"

"But, Mum, I'll look like a pervert in there." Harry said. "I'll wait out here."

Harry waited about 30 minutes, before being approached by a cop.

"Waiting on someone in there?" The cop asked Harry.

Harry replied, "I'm holding the bags for my mum and one of her friends. They're taking forever, it seems."

The cop laughed and said, "Do you have a girlfriend?"

"Yes." Harry said.

The cop said, "She'll do the same to you, never fails."

**And there's more to come...**


	19. Chapter 19

As usual the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers or Harrods or Victoria's Secret, is mine!

Chapter 19 – Lily and Severus Go Shopping, Part 2

_In Diagon Alley at The Leakey Cauldron..._

"Mum," Harry said, "Can we shrink these bags, they're a bit heavy?"

Narcissa said, "Put all the shrunk items in a Harrods bag, wizards and witches shop at that store also besides the muggles, Lily."

Harry asked as his mom shrunk the items, "What kept you two so long at Victoria's Secret? A muggle cop was curious why I was waiting with your bags."

"Your friend Hermione told your mother about the perfume and scented lotions and I just had to buy each scented lotion and perfume that they had." Narcissa said. "Your mother got some underwear and some perfumed lotion too."

Harry made a mental note:_ Have a little chit-chat with Hermione regarding updating Mom on what has happened in the past almost 15 years..._

He then asked, "Mum, what colors of underwear did you get? Or did you buy one of each?"

"Harry, none of your business!" Lily said. "Just underwear that went with my complexion, hair and eyes."

At about that time, Severus Snape and his daughter Serenity Potter entered The Leakey Cauldron with a load of bags from Harrods and other muggle stores.

Narcissa saw them and motioned them to come over to where she, Lily and Harry were sitting.

"Severus, Serenity, what a surprise." Narcissa said. "I see you two have been shopping also today, come sit with us for lunch."

Serenity said, "Narcissa, Lily, and Dad, I'd like to talk and eat lunch alone with Harry, I'd like to discuss some matters with him regarding his cousin, Dudley."

Harry and Serenity went to another table to eat and chat, while the adults sat at another table nearby.

Serenity said to Harry as they were waiting on their food and drinks, "Dudley's getting used to the institute... he was a bit homesick at first, but he's settling in good."

After their food and drinks were served, she continued. "How does dad look with his new haircut?"

Harry replied, "Different. Now if he would just loosen up in potions... I'd get along with him better."

"He's a bit of a perfectionist, Harry." Serenity said, "but he means well."

She continued, "As a matter of fact, I came upon a little bit of info, thanks to Narcissa."

"What kind of info?" Harry asked as he drunk his butterbeer.

Serenity said, "Your mom and my dad almost had sex together when they were 15."

Harry did a "spit take."

"That was too much info, Serenity." Harry said. "Now I won't get that image out of my head!"

Serenity saw someone that looked familiar and said, "Hey, is that...?"

Rita Skeeter had entered The Leakey Cauldron and walked up to the table where Severus, Lily and Narcissa were sitting.

"Narcissa Malfoy," Rita Skeeter said, "How about an interview or a few comments regarding your husband being in Azkaban?"

Serenity seeing this, came up behind Rita and said, "Is this woman giving you trouble?"

Rita turned around and said, "Who are you?"

"Serenity Potter. Yes, I'm Harry Potter's cousin, the Squib heiress." Serenity said. "I could be your worst nightmare, bitch!"

Severus couldn't help but grin at that comment. He wanted to laugh out loud, but had to stiff the laugh.

"You're a Squib, what could you do?" Rita asked.

A gust of wind suddenly blew around Serenity and Rita. Serenity's eyes turned from brown to white and Serenity spoke in a loud, spooky voice... a voice that could be compared to Molly Weasley scolding her children.

"NOW YOU LISTEN HERE MISSY, TAKE YOUR FRIGGIN PARCHMENT AND YOUR F***ING QUICK QUOTES QUILL AND GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE!"

Rita Skeeter walked off in a huff. And as she was about to walk out the door of The Leakey Cauldron, Serenity yelled, "AND I KNOW WHAT YOUR ANIMAGUS FORM IS!"

After Serenity's little rant, Harry came up to her and asked, "You're a mutant?"

Serenity said, "More or less, I ain't no Jean Grey or Storm though, except when it's my time of the month, if you know what I mean."

**Next Chapter: Lily visits Petunia, Narcissa tells Draco the cold hard truth and the smelling salts are passed around. Plus, someone gets their first kiss.**


	20. Chapter 20

As usual, the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers, is mine!

Chapter 20 – Sunday Morning Going Down

**WARNING: If people passing out offend you, don't read this chapter, LOL!**

(Title of this chapter is a Johnny Cash song, gotta give credit to the man in black).

_Sunday Morning..._

Billie Jo Westmorland was having one of those days. Her hair was not cooperating as she struggled to make a braid. It was also her time of the month and today she was going on a date with Draco Malfoy to Hogsmeade to meet her mother and Draco's mother.

_Oh, Joy _she thought sarcastically, as she walked out of the Cat's Lair in Hogsmeade. _Today's the day he's told the truth._

Draco didn't know today he'd be meeting his mother though. Narcissa decided it was finally time to tell him the truth about herself and his father's dealings with Voldermort. And Billie Jo was going to be in on it too, along with her mother when the time came.

Sunday was that day.

A quick hop over to Madam Rosemurta's to talk to her mother, who had come with a paramedics bag and then floo from there to Hogwarts Castle to have breakfast with Draco. She came into the great hall carrying a small green and black backpack as she came up to the Slytherin table.

"Wilhelmina," Draco said, "We are going on a date, not a day hike! What have you got in there anyway?"

Billie Jo said, "How many times do I have to tell you, call me Billie Jo, Draco!" she said with a huff and then put her hands on her hips and said, "For your information it's my time of the month and what is in the bag is my period supplies, I'm a heavy bleeder."

Pansy Parkinson laughed at this and said, "Didn't your mother teach you about when it's her time of the month, Draco? You don't get her mad, enough said."

"I apologize Billie Jo." Draco said. "I'm a bit anxious today, meeting your mother and all that."

"Apology accepted." Billie Jo said. "I guess I am a bit anxious today too, myself."

After breakfast, it being a Hogsmeade weekend for the students at Hogwarts, Billie Jo and Draco went on their "date".

They went to Madam Rosemurta's where Billie Jo's mother, Rebecca was waiting for them. Billie Jo said, "Mom, this is..."

Rebecca said, "I know who it is, I've been in contact with his mother. So what have you 2 lovebirds been up to?"

"Mrs. Westmorland..."

"Call me Rebecca, Draco."

"Rebecca, I don't need the birds and bees talk, my mother has already done that. As for my father, well, I don't know if my father's reputation with women has made it to across the pond. Heaven forbid that I have any little brothers or sisters running around." Draco said.

Rebecca said, "I hope you and my daughter haven't done the dirty deed, if you know what I mean."

"Mom, you know I'm waiting until marriage! Draco is too!" Billie Jo exclaimed.

"Just teasing you 2, I know Draco's mother has taught him well and I know I taught you well also." Rebecca said. "Well, you two, there's someone I'd like you to meet in the private room here at Rosemurta's, let's go. Billie Jo, get Draco a butterbeer and the rest of us a pot of Earl Grey."

Billie Jo got the drinks and they went into the private room. Rebecca closed the door behind them. There was a blond headed woman in the room looking out the window. She had her hair pulled back in a ponytail and was wearing a red dress.

"Cissy, look who I've got with me." Rebecca said.

"Mum?! You look... different." Draco said. "Not much makeup, hey... you were the woman sitting next to Lily Potter the other day!"

Narcissa replied, "Yes that was me. Lily and I were friends for years. We went shopping yesterday for clothes and her son Harry helped us."

"Harry Potter's gay?" Draco asked. "Rita Skeeter would have a field day with that!", He said as he drank his butterbeer... laced with Veriterserim.

"No," Narcissa said. "He was holding the bags for us. As for Rita Skeeter, that's another story for another time. I'm here to talk about your father. I'm divorcing him."

Draco said, "You're getting a divorce from father? I can't blame you if you want to with all those women he's had affairs with."

"JUST HOW MANY WOMEN?!" All three female voices in the room said.

"I lost count after 6, mother." Draco said. "One of them was Aunt Bellatrix."

Narcissa said, "Yes, I'm getting a divorce from your father. But I also have something else to talk to you about. You see, I've been a spy for an organization called the Order of the Phoenix since before you were born."

Draco spat out his butterbeer and said, "Forget the butterbeer, I need some firewhiskey. Continue mother..."

_Privit Drive, Surrey, around noon-ish..._

Serenity Potter, her father and Lily Potter were in a black Mercedes as they pulled into the driveway of the Dursley residence. The day before, Serenity contacted Petunia by phone to make Dudley a care package of things he couldn't get in the states and that she would pick up the package before she left that afternoon.

Serenity knocked on the door. Vernon answered it. "Ah, Miss Serenity, Petunia said you would be here this afternoon to pick up the care package, come in, come in.

Serenity entered the house and into the living room where Petunia was still working on the care package.

Petunia said, "I'll have this finished in a few minutes, Serenity. How's my Dudley doing?

"Yeah," Vernon said, "How's Dudley doing?"

Serenity replied, "He's doing better with his studies and he's taken up boxing. Plus, he's on the football team. American Football that is, brutal sport it is. Oh, by the way, I have something for you, my dad is getting it out of the car as we speak."

At that moment the door opened and Severus came in with Lily. Vernon fainted. Petunia just sat there in shock at the sight of her sister and said, "You're supposed to be dead, how..."

Lily said, "All will be explained, Petunia. Let's revive your husband first. Serenity pass the smelling salts please?"

_Hogwarts Castle, that afternoon..._

Melanie Rawlings had been pacing back and forth in front of the infirmary for about an hour, when Lucien Malfoy Jr. came up to her.

"Mom's in labor with the twins right now," she said to Lucien. "Ron and Ginny's mom is acting as a midwife, dad's in there also."

"And you're going to be a great big sister, Mel." Lucien said, kissing her on the cheek. "Don't be so nervous, okay?"

Melanie said, "Why Luc Malfoy, I believe you have a bit of crush on me."

Lucien's face turned red at that remark. Melanie went in for the kill, so to speak.

"Luc, take off your glasses." she said looking at him.

Lucien took off his glasses and put them in his shirt pocket.

Melanie leaned in and kissed him on the mouth. And Lucien kissed her back. But when they kissed, a glow surrounded them.

At that time they stopped kissing, Professor Dumbledore saw them and came up to them.

He said, "Miss Rawlings, Mister Malfoy. I believe I have some explaining to do. You 2 soul bonded, which means you are bonded for life, think of it as a marriage..."

Lucien said, "Hold it professor, we're just 11!"

"Yeah, we're still kids!" Melanie said. "My dad's gonna kill us, Luc! It's like the expression, the cart before the horse!"

At that time, Harry, Hermione, Ron and Ginny came to the front of the infirmary. Ron said, "Okay, who got knocked up?"

Hermione slapped Ron in the back of the head at that comment. Dumbledore couldn't help but laugh.

"Mister Weasley, Miss Rawlings and Mister Malfoy here, have soul bonded. And on all days a birth day." he said with a chuckle.

Harry said, "I'm going to take a peek inside the infirmary to see how they're doing with the birth."

Harry barely cracked open the door when he heard the following from Melanie's mother, Jennifer screaming through her labor : JOHNATHAN RAWLINGS, I'M GONNA CUT OFF YOUR BALLS..."

Harry closed the door quickly and said "Your father's dead meat, Mel."

Ginny said, "I hope I never curse like that if I have a baby!"

Two hours later, Molly Weasley came out of the infirmary and said, "TWIN GIRLS! Fredrika Harriet and Georgina Hermione are the names."

"Can I go in and see my mom and dad now?" Melanie asked.

Molly said, "Yes and you can bring a friend in also, but don't be long."

Melanie grabbed Lucien's hand and they went into the infirmary where her mom and her dad each had a twin holding it. They then put the babies in a bassinet, each twin had brown hair.

"Their nicknames will be Fredi and Georgi." Jennifer said to Melanie, "We want Harry and Hermione to be the godparents. And who is this young man?"

"Lucien Malfoy Junior, mam." Lucien said. "Melanie and I have something to tell you both."

Melanie said, "Mom, Dad... Luc and me have soul bonded."

The twins started to cry.

Mom and Dad were in shock.


	21. Chapter 21

I'm back...

WARNING: Cho bashing in this chapter...

As usual the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers is mine!

Chapter 21- Birds and Bees and Babies

_Where we left off... _Melanie and Lucien Jr. soul bonded to the shock of Melanie's parents.

"Malfoy," Jonathan Rawlings said, taking him aside, "Do you know young man the complications of a soul bond?"

Luc said, "Professor Dumbledore told me that it was a marriage of sorts. But Mr. Rawlings, my mother who is a muggle gave me the birds and bees talk before I started Hogwarts."

"You haven't had a witch or wizard tell you the magical version?" Jonathan asked.

Luc said, "No, but my mother told me she'd tan my hide if I made her a grandmother before I graduated Hogwarts. I am assuming there is spells and potions... but I am going to wait because I don't want to upset my mother and of course you and your wife."

Jonathan said, "Well, I guess we should owl your mother and tell her what has happened, Lucien. Just curious, how are you doing in your subjects?"

"Very well, sir." Luc said. "But I am having a hard time learning to fly on a broom, I keep loosing my eyeglasses trying to do circular loops."

Later, Fred and George Weasley got to meet their female namesakes along with Harry and Hermione. The twin girls cooed in Harry and Hermione's arms. They then put the girls in their bassinet. Harry then put his hand on Fredrika's forehead and said, "I Harry James Potter claim thee Fredrika Harriet Rawlings as my godchild, to be her parent in case something should happen to her birth parents, so mote it be."

Then Hermione put her hand on Georgina's head and said, "I Hermione Jane Granger claim thee Georgina Hermione Rawlings as my godchild..."

_Halloween Week..._

The Great Hall was decorated in Fall colors with cornstalks, leaves, squash and carved pumpkins with a haystack or two scattered around in various corners of the Great Hall.

James "Jimmy" Black had worked his magic so to speak with the carved pumpkins, doing it by hand, the muggle way. Draco Malfoy was watching his distant cousin carve out the pumpkins and asked him how he did it, Draco being fascinated by the designs.

"You stencil a drawing on the pumpkin after it's been cleaned out, Draco. Cut out the right areas, put a spell on the carved pumpkin to preserve it, then put in a candle."

At that time, Jennifer Rawlings came through with the twins, Fredrika and Georgina. The girls had "onesies" that said, "Daddy's Little Witch" that they were wearing. The twins were only a couple of weeks old, but they were taking everything in.

Cho Chang saw the babies and walked up to Jennifer and the girls. "Mrs. Rawlings, can I hold one of the babies?"

Little Fredrika was reaching out her hands, as if she wanted to be picked up.

"Well, you can, but be careful." Jennifer said. "And don't pat the back too much."

Cho lifted Fredrika onto her shoulder and started patting the back and talking to the baby in nonsense.

Fredrika decided to puke down on Cho's shoulder.

Georgina's face lit up in a toothless grin.

"Ooh, Baby Barf, Gross." Jimmy Black said.

Draco turned to the Slytherin table and said, "Hey everybody, Cho Chang's been puked on!"

Cho handed Fredrika back to her mother and ran out of the Great Hall to the Ravenclaw Tower.

Luna Lovegood saw this and said as she picked up Georgina, "Are you grinning because what happened to Cho?"

Little Georgina smirked at Luna.

Luna said, "I take that as a yes."

At the Gryffindor table, Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny were discussing Cho's little incident with Fredrika.

"That's my god-daughter for you." Harry said.

Ron said, "You have to wonder if their names fit their personalities."

"Like a female Fred and George." Ginny said.

Hermione said, "They're just a couple of weeks old, what could they do?"

At that time, Billie Jo came and sat next to them.

"I ran into Cho Chang on the way here," she said, "smelled like sour milk, schiesse"

"Fredrika spit up on Cho, Billie Jo." Harry said.

Billie Jo said with a whisper, "So, ready for the meeting slash party Halloween Night?"

Harry asked, "Is Draco ready to join the Order?"

Billie Jo said, "He's as ready as he'll ever be."

**Next Chapter: Halloween**

**schiesse: SH_ _ in German**


	22. Chapter 22

As usual, the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers, is mine!

And someone "kicks the bucket" in this chapter...

Chapter 22- The Order of the Phoenix

_Halloween Night...somewhere in Hogsmeade..._

Serenity Potter, junior race car driver, mutant squib, and daughter of Severus Snape, fixed up a large batch of chili, with some help from Billie Jo and Rebecca Westmorland.

Rebecca said, "When I had my first bite of chili, it was like my taste buds had woke up."

"I fixed it mild, just like you fixed it at the camp, Rebecca." Serenity said. "But I added black beans along with the kidney beans for extra fiber..."

Billie Jo added, … "which will lead to extra gas... It will be like that muggle movie _Blazing Saddles _… the scene where they're eating beans... and they're farting!"

"Wilhelmina..." Rebecca said, "remember, it will only happen if they go for seconds."

"But will they like it?" Serenity asked.

Molly, Narcissa, and Lily liked the chili and as Molly was getting the recipe from Rebecca and Serenity, a woman who was eating a salad spoke up and said, "Do you have a vegetarian recipe for that chili, it smells delicious?!" The woman who asked that was a Bridget Malfoy, a muggle... and wife of Lucien Malfoy Sr.

Bridget Malfoy had been involved in the Order of the Phoenix for five years, when her husband was tossed into Azkaban for alleged muggle baiting.

She worked in the muggle prime minister's office as a clerical worker and would on occasion pick up on some information that may help in the magical world.

Recently, though, the muggle prime minister had promoted her to his personal secretary, after finding out about her son being a wizard. That was the good news. The bad news was she had to report at least once a week to a select crowd of people, that did not entirely trust the magical world, especially the Ministry of Magic.

Now, tonight, Bridget was going to get a big surprise.

After being forced to take veriterserum, Lucious Malfoy was as the expression went "singing like a canary", and was "spilling the beans" regarding various crimes, including setting up his baby brother for muggle baiting and being involved in the death of his twin brother Lewis, along with the death of Serenity's mother, who was Severus Snape's girlfriend.

A few days later, Lucious was dead of a heart attack.

Lucien Malfoy Sr. was now a free man and was going to be reunited with his wife and son tonight.

Albus came through the floo at the location in Hogsmeade, with Lucien Jr. and Melanie Rawlings. Mel was going to meet Luc's mother tonight and was a bit nervous. She looked the room over looking for her parents, when a woman came up to her holding Luc's hand.

"Mum, this is Melanie, my soul mate." Luc said. "Or as she prefers to be called, Mel."

Melanie held out her hand to shake Bridget Malfoy's hand. Instead, Bridget gave her a bone crushing hug.

"Mrs. Malfoy," Mel said, "gotta breathe"

"I'm sorry," Bridget said, letting her go, "Your parents explained to me tonight about the soul bond, I hope your parents have had the birds and bees talk with you, young lady."

"Yes, they have, mamm." Mel said. "My father gave the magical "talk" to your son, also."

"Call me Bridget, Melanie."

Just then, Remus Lupin came through the fireplace with a blond -headed man that was blindfolded and wearing earplugs.

As soon as the blindfold was off and the ear plugs out, the man looked around the room and asked, "So where's my wife and son?"

Bridget turned around at the sound of the voice and saw it was her husband Lucien. She ran up to him and started hugging him and kissing him. She then motioned Luc to come over to greet his father. It was a happy reunion for the family as the Order members cheered them on.

Albus said, "I think that a little private family reunion is in due order, Tiara?"

Tiara Redfeather said, "Why of course. They can use my office, just don't mess with my computer, that's all I ask."

Lucien Sr., Lucien Jr, Bridget, Phil, Will, Draco and Narcissa all went to Tiara Redfeather's office-study to talk about what was going on currently.

As soon as the door was closed and a silencing spell put on the door, Narcissa said, "Draco, you had better sit down for what I've got to tell you."

"Is it bad, Mum?" Draco asked.

Narcissa said, "How can I put this? Draco, your father's dead. Heart attack. Enough said."

Lucien Malfoy Sr. said, "Your Grandfather Abraxas died of a heart attack when he was 50 years old, so heart problems run in the family."

"So I'm at risk for having a heart attack?" Draco asked. "Oh, joy." he said with sarcasm.

Phil and Will said together, "CAN WE JOIN YOUR PITY PARTY, COUSIN?"

Draco gave the twins a dirty look as Narcissa and Bridget got after their twin nephews. "Boys..."

Luc Jr. was sitting still, watching the teens and adults interact with each other. But Lucien Sr. had a surprise for Luc Jr.

Lucien Sr. said, "Narcissa, are the plans to move going as planned?"

"MOVE?!" Draco asked

"Well, now that your father's dead, your uncle Lucien is lord of the manor and we have to move somewhere else, your grandfather Abraxas had it set up that way according to his will." Narcissa said.

Draco said, "Are we moving to London? To the townhouse in Chelsea?"

"Yes, we are... although it isn't as big as the manor, I'm giving some of the house elves to your uncle."

Narcissa said.

"Has your niece, Tonks done a check of the manor, yet?" Bridget asked. "I don't want to get a squib priest to do a exorcism of the house, if I am correct?"

Narcissa replied, "Just a preliminary check, Bridget. Let's just say there was more than wine and firewhiskey in the cellar."

Luc Jr. spoke up and said, "Any dead bodies? Because I don't want to deal with any ghosts!"

"I don't think you'll have any trouble with ghosts, Luc." Lucien Sr. said. "Although, I am concerned about you young man and my nephews. I heard about you son and your soul bond … so I think the magical talk is in due order, all you boys..."

Phil and Will said together, "WE'VE ALREADY HAD THAT DISCUSSION!"

_But back in the meeting room..._

Fleur was breathing in paints.

Bill Weasley came up to her and asked, "Fleur, honey, what's the matter?"

"I zhould have listened to Lily Potter, Bill, about the mild salsa..."

A booming voice shot through the room from Molly Weasley: FRED AND GEORGE WEASLEY, HOW DARE YOU SPIKE THE MILD SALSA WITH HOT SAUCE!

**The "spiked" salsa incident happened to me when I was in school at a church party, really!**


	23. Chapter 23

As usual the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers is mine!

Chapter 23 – The Camping Trip or Pansy Loses Her Cookies

_November 2nd..._

"You've never been camping before, Greengrass?" Hermione asked Astoria.

Astoria replied, "I am in Slytherin, where the women do not do the dirty work unless they have to and keep a certain sense of decorum."

"In other words Granger," said Draco, "the men do the dirty work and the house elves clean up."

Billie Jo said, "Well, we won't be having house elves this weekend... and no wands."

"And no magical tents, either." Ginger Harris added.

"We'll be using muggle tents... Phil Malfoy said.

"...and muggle supplies to cook with..." Will Malfoy added.

"...and a knife thowing lesson from me." Kevin Allison said.

Sarah Martin said, "I'm bringing my cross-bow and arrows along also, for shooting practice."

Andy Parkinson said, "I'm trying to get my cousin, Pansy, to join us."

Ron Weasley said, after doing a spit-take, "Andy, your cousin wouldn't last five minutes in the woods."

"I beg to differ, Weasley." a female voice said.

There stood Pansy Parkinson with a camper's backpack, fully loaded. She said, "I am prepared, got clothes, a camper's tool, dehydrated food, first aid kit, insect repellant, and because we're going to the states, I bought some mace."

Harry asked, "Afraid of getting mugged in the woods, Parkinson?"

"More like a bear attack, Potter." Pansy said, as she pulled out a large sprayer can.

Luna asked, "Does that stuff work on bearcats?"

Joseph Redfeather said, "Luna, there's no such thing as a bearcat."

"Then why is it a mascot at a muggle university, answer me that?" Luna asked.

Jimmy Black said, "She's gotcha there, Joe."

Ginny Weasley asked, "Billie Jo, where are we going to?"

"Well, as soon as we get the portkey's, we're going to the Red River Gorge. It's about 2 ½ hours from the academy in eastern Kentucky." Billie Jo replied. "Seamus Finnigan, Dean Thomas and Neville Longbottom are setting up the campsite as we speak."

"Speak of the devil," Jimmy Black said, "there's two of our guys. Hey, Finnigan, Thomas, where's Neville?"

Dean said, "Neville's in the infirmary, had a run-in with some poison ivy, he won't be camping with us this weekend."

"Serenity's got the portkeys, she should be here any minute." Seamus said.

A couple of minutes later, Serenity came into the great hall carrying a bag of cans-portkeys.

She said, "Okay, 2 people to a can, they are fixed to make you land about a mile from the campsite, so what my dad says... and hand over your wands to me... including your spare Draco."

Draco muttered a profanity when he found that he would have to give up his spare wand for the weekend.

Serenity continued, "Harry, here's a walkie-talkie. I will be in contact with you and meet up with you all tomorrow evening. Gather your gear and wait outside, the portkeys will go off in about ten minutes. Professor Kauffman and Professor Redfeather will be waiting at the campsite for you all."

Pansy said, "I've never traveled by portkey before, what's it like?

_About 10 minutes later..._

"F***ING S**T," Pansy said, "I'M GONNA PUKE!"

And she did... right on Ron Weasley's boots.

Ron said, "Darn it, Parkinson... and I can't do a cleaning spell on my boots, because I don't have a wand!"

Hermione said, "For heaven's sake, Ron, take off your boots and rub them on the grass, that will get some of the puke off. We're supposed to be "roughing it", no magic this weekend."

As Ron was cleaning his boots off, Joseph Redfeather said, "Guys and gals, according to the map I've got, there is a latrine halfway to the campsite, I suggest we take care of our personal business there before the final part of our hike to the campsite, if you know what I mean."

"What's a latrine?" Draco asked.

Jimmy Black replied, "Fancy name for an outdoor toilet, cuz."

_An hour or so later..._

"About time you all got here." Professor Daniel Kauffman said. "Phew, what's that odor?"

Astoria Greengrass said, "Pansy puked on Ron Weasley, sir."

"Where's Malfoy and Black?" Professor Tiara Redfeather asked. "Don't tell me they're lost."

Just then, they heard a loud scream. Jimmy Black found the rest of the campers and said, "Something's happened to Draco..."

**Ooh, a cliffhanger! What happened to Draco... next chapter.**


	24. Chapter 24

As usual the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers, is mine!

Chapter 24 – Skunks and Other Little Stinkers

_Where we left off..._

"Something's happened to Draco." Jimmy Black said. "He's got hit by the spray of a skunk!"

Ron asked, "What's a skunk?"

The Americans laughed at Ron's question. Ginger Harris spoke up. "Weasley, a skunk is a wild animal native to North America. Around here in these parts, it's also known as a pole-cat."

"Dan," Tiara said, "Go with Black here and round up his cousin, I've got to get water from the river nearby and make a potion, Billie Jo you're in charge until I or Professor Kauffman get back, okay?"

"Sure thing Miz Tia." Billie Jo said.

Hermione said, "I've read before about skunks and Tasmanian Devils what they have in common protection wise."

Phil said, "Some people have the odor glands removed from skunks when they are young..."

"... and keep the skunks as pets." Will said. "Some say they're possibly kin to ferrets..."

Harry hearing this started to laugh out loud, "Ferrets? Remind me to tell the Yanks here what happened to Draco in my 4th year..."

A voice... and a smelly Draco, yelled from a distance away, "You breathe a word about what happened then Potter and your a** is grass, Potter!"

Daniel Kauffman, sensing a fight, between Harry and Draco said, "Now, you two cool it right this minute... phew Malfoy, how did you get sprayed?"

Draco said, "I thought it was a cat."

Kevin Allison said, "Malfoy, ol' boy, you got skunked!"

"Too bad we don't have any borcht." Dean Thomas addded.

"What does cooked cabbage soup have to do with my situation?" Draco asked.

"Muggle cartoon reference, Draco." Billie Jo said. "There was toddler who thought it was a cat... and he got sprayed also."

Sarah Martin said, "Miz Tiara has gone to gather water for a potion for you Draco... for the stink."

"She better get back soon." Pansy said. "Draco smells like the time Crabbe and Goyle got caught with some weed by Professor Snape last year!"

_Meanwhile, at a hotel in Florida..._

"Zerenity," Gabrielle Delecour asked, "Could you help me with my Arithmancy homework? Melanie's dad haz given us muggle math and it's tricky, fractionz and percentagez."

Melanie Rawlings said, "That's a part of how Arithmancy is taught in the states Gaby, except to muggles it's Math or Pre-Algebra. It's better to take it now and get it over with early. What has me is why History of Magic is taught by a ghost at Hogwarts."

Serenity said, "We should call it a night in about an hour you two, have to be up at 6 AM to go to the race track."

A knock was heard at the door. "Girls, it's me, Lily."

"COME IN!"

Lily Potter opened the door and said, "Ready for tomorrow, Serenity?"

"Ready as I will be, Aunt Lily." Serenity said. "Are the boys asleep, yet?"

"Luc and Grant are putting on their PJ's as we speak." Lily said. "They're excited for tomorrow, Grant's been explaining to Luc about what it's like to be in the pit. I don't know how your father puts up with your hobby."

"Don't worry, Aunt Lily, I've got a top notch pit crew, I've been doing this since I was 13." Serenity said. "And my helpers will be there if you need anything, OK? And you have to wear radio headphones all of you so you can communicate with me, I want you to watch the other cars in case something happens that could affect my driving. I won't be the only gal racing, some Patrick gal is also racing."

"And we can't use magic, right?" Gabrielle asked.

Serenity said, "Nope, sorry."

Lily said, "I've never been to a car race before, just how loud can it be in the pit?"

_The next day in pit row..._

"TESTING 1-2-3"

"LUC"

"Here"

"GRANT"

"Here"

"GABY"

"Here"

"MEL"

"Here"

"AUNT LILY"

No answer.

"OH, AUNT LILY..."

No answer.

"AUNT LILY, QUIT FLIRTING WITH MY PIT BOSS AND PAY ATTENTION!"

"Sheesh, you're as bad as your father, Sev. Loosen up will ya?" Lily said.

Well, by the end of the race, 250 laps, Serenity was in the top 10, along with the Patrick gal, but didn't win a trophy.

_That evening at the campsite..._

"My mother did what?" Harry asked.

Serenity replied, "She was flirting with my pit boss, Jimmy Gomez, Grant's uncle, Grant will back me up... Hey Grant, tell Harry what his mom was doing with your uncle Jim."

"Flirting, Harry..." Grant Gomez said. "And he was flirting back."

"Grant," Harry asked, "Is your uncle a wizard?"

"No, run of the mill squib." Grant replied. "And he's a widower."

Harry said to himself, _"Time to have a chat with Mum, I think."_


	25. Chapter 25

As usual the standard disclaimer: Anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers is mine!

**Anyhow, last chapter, the "skunked" reference came from an episode of "Rugrats" where the character Chuckie got sprayed by a skunk. If you get to see a rerun of the show, it's crazy!**

**Now on to the next chapter...**

Chapter 25: Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas and a Horcrux or Two

_In Dumbledore's office, 2 weeks before Thanksgiving..._

"Professor Dumbledore, what happened to your hand? Harry asked.

Dumbledore replied, "Harry, remember what we discussed about the Horcruxes? I tried destroying one of them- a ring."

"There has to be an easy way to destroy them sir." Harry replied. "By the way, have we had any luck rounding up the rest of them?"

"Professor Kauffman has found Helga Hufflepuff's cup, Professor Snape thinks he might know where the diadem is at... and we know about Nagini and the necklace, but the Sword of Gryffindor is missing. I don't know if it's my old age or not, have you seen the sword?"

"No, sir, not since my second year." Harry said. "I'm sure it will pop up sooner or later."

A knock was heard at the door.

Dumbledore replied, "That's Tiara and your cousin Wilhelmina to discuss the Thanksgiving menu and decorations, care to join us?"

"I might as well, even though it's a U.S. Holiday, sir." Harry replied. "COME IN!"

"Tia, Billie Jo," Dumbledore said, "Have you got the dinner menu and decorations ready?"

Tiara replied, "I got the menu for the elves to fix Thanksgiving day, Billie Jo is in charge of the decorations, and pray tell, what in the blue blazes happened to your hand?"

Dumbledore explained what had happened to him when he tried to destroy the horcrux.

Billie Jo said, "Have you tried stabbing the horcrux with a dagger or a sword? Something sharp?"

"I think I might know what to use," Harry said. "Remember how I used a basilisk fang on Tom Riddle's diary?"

"Won't that break the fang, though?" Tiara asked. "I guess we won't know unless we get a hold of a fang, eh, Harry?"

"Oh, no I know where this is leading to," Harry said, "Just because I've killed a basilisk..."

_An hour later in the Chamber of Secrets..._

"Why me, Billie Jo, why me?" Harry said.

Billie Jo said, "JUST SHUT UP AND HELP ME SAW THESE FANGS LOOSE!"

–-

Now, on the first night of Hanukkah, after he lit the first candle, Daniel Kauffman grabbed a basilisk fang, muttered something in Yiddish and then stabbed Helga Hufflepuff's cup at an open window, where a blackness came out of the cup and out the window. He sat the remains of the cup on fire and tossed the ashes out the window. "DOBBY!" he yelled.

Dobby popped into the room and asked, "What does Mister Daniel want?"

"Tell Professor Dumbledore that the cup has been destroyed." Dan said. "And bring up a kosher dinner for two. Tiara will be dining with me tonight."

–-

Soon it was Christmastime and some plans were being made for the holidays and a majority of the students and staff were going home for the holidays. Harry was going to Serenity's home in North Carolina, along with his mother... and Professor Snape... who had still not found the diadem.

Draco and his mother, Narcissa, had a bit of a scare when they came home to the townhouse in the Chelsea part of London. Some one had got past the wards that Narcissa had set up. After the authorities, muggle and magical had checked the premises, Narcissa was a bit upset, especially since it was the holidays and decided to take the invitation of Severus' kin, the Westmorlands, to come to the states for Christmas. Draco thought this was a great idea, since he would get to see Billie Jo over the holidays... and he had a surprise for her.

–-

The newest family to inhabit Malfoy Manor had everything modernized and muggle friendly. Lucien Malfoy and his muggle wife, Bridget had been busy on the weekends since early November redecorating the Manor. Bridget would get muggle home design magazines, show Lucien what she liked and with a flick of the wand, would transform the room. Luc Jr. was going to get to design his own room. And his soul mate Mel was going to have her own room at the Manor also, when she came to visit. Narcissa had come to her former residence to help with some of the decorating also. Narcissa and Bridget had designed Mel's room with an in-suite bath, large closet and queen sized bed. The room was done in various shades of pink, cream and white, with a bit of a floral theme. When Mel saw the room on Christmas eve, she was pleased that it was more for a preteen or teen. But Luc wanted his room real simple, so he had the colors of his favorite muggle football team, (that's soccer to us Yanks), Manchester United. Mel and her family also did some work on the property, fixing a hectare of land for a future garden. But on Christmas eve, Bellatrix tried to break down the wards on the property. But the wards set off an alarm in the manor that woke up everybody in the Manor and put them on alert. Mel and Luc Jr. grabbed Mel's twin sisters and went via portkey to Hogwarts to the Gryffindor common room. Harry had not left for North Carolina yet and had heard the commotion. He went to the balcony outside his dorm room and saw the 4 kids. Harry ran down the stairs to them and asked about what had happened.

"Harry get your mum to get the aurors, somebody tried to break the wards on the manor!" Luc said.

Mel said, "My mom and dad are there with Luc's parents trying to protect the manor! Hurry quick!"

Harry got to his mother's living quarters at Hogwarts and woke her up. "Harry what's the matter?" Lily asked. "Is it a vision?"

"No, Luc Malfoy and Melanie Rawlings got a portkey from Malfoy Manor with the twins, the manor's being attacked, call the aurors!"

Lily made a floo call to the aurors and they went to the manor. Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin was leading her fellow aurors to find in the living room of the manor a mess, Lucien, Jonathan and Jennifer petrified on the floor... and Bridget Malfoy with a double-barrel shotgun pointed directly on Bellatrix's forehead. Bellatrix's right hand was bleeding from being shot in the hand and her wand was broken on the floor nearby.

As the aurors came to Bridget, she said, "Get this woman out of my sight!"

The aurors petrified Bellatrix and took her away.

Dora unpetrified Lucien, Jonathan and Jennifer, saw they were shook up a bit and made the 3 of them to go to St, Mungos for a checkup.

But at Hogwarts, it wasn't exactly a silent night, Fredrika and Georgina had been crying all night and keeping their sister and her soul mate up all Christmas eve, which led to a conversation between Luc and Mel.

"Mel, when do you want to have kids?"

"Luc, we're 11, why do you want to discuss this?"

"Well, with the soul bond and what has happened with your sisters tonight, especially since they are a bit of a hassle..."

"I want to wait until I at least I get a degree in something after Hogwarts, I don't want to be another Molly Weasley with a house full of kids."

"Agreed".

In another part of Hogwarts there was another couple making romantic plans: Tiara and Daniel were going to get hitched in of all places... Las Vegas.


	26. Chapter 26

As usual, the standard disclaimer: Anything that doesn't belong to JKR or Warner Brothers is mine!

**I mentioned in the 1st chapter that William Westmorland and Severus Snape were half-siblings, so here's more of the family dynamic. And I based Eileen on one of my relatives.**

Chapter 26 – Holidays, Weddings and Pre-Nups

_Christmas Dinner at Serenity's..._

"MOTHER, ARE YOU MAD?! FOR THE THIRD TIME?!" William Westmorland and Severus Snape said to their mother Eileen when she announced that she was getting married for the third time.

Eileen Prince Westmorland-Snape, age late 60's, who could pass for mid 50's, was the matriarch of the Westmorland and Snape households. And what mum said... went, whether you liked it or not.

Severus said with a mad whisper, "Serenity, why did you fail to inform me that your grandmother had a boyfriend?"

She whispered back, "I didn't think that it was any of my business, Dad, to inform you."

Billie Jo said, "For heaven's sake, can a girl eat without hearing about her grandmother's sex life?!"

"I agree with my daughter," Rebecca Westmorland said, "It's like one of those trashy tabloids."

Eileen said, "This family sure does not put the fun in dysfunctional, I see that. William, Severus, as the youngsters would say, get over it!"

"YES, MOTHER."

Eileen continued, "So, I guess I should tell you about Henry. He's a muggle that knows about magic, in fact, his grandchild is a witch that attends Hogwarts. Harry, it's one of your friends, Hermione Granger."

Harry said, "Congrats to you, Eileen, Hermione has spoken highly of her grandfather, if I'm correct, he's a retired banker."

Lily said, "Have you considered a pre-nup?"

"What's a pre-nup?" Draco asked.

Narcissa replied, "It's a slang term for a legal marital contract usually contracted by people of considerable wealth. Your father and I had one."

"Oh, I get it," Draco said, "What's mine is mine and what is yours is yours."

Eileen said, "More or less, but you're right, Draco."

"So, Mother," William Westmorland asked, "When do we get to meet Henry Granger?"

"Tomorrow," Eileen said, "and I want the chimney cleaned, Severus and William."

–-

_Somewhere in Salem, Massachusetts..._

"Grandfather, are you sure about this?" Hermione asked. "I mean, she's a witch like me and one of her sons thinks that I am too much of a know-it-all in his class."

Helen Granger said, "That's a bit upsetting to me. How rude."

Henry Granger Jr. asked, "And you're sure about this, Father? I've met her once, she seems like a nice lady, tell me about the other 2 previous husbands."

"First husband got killed in a shooting, second husband was a drunkard." Henry Sr. said. "As Hermione has said, one of her sons is one of her professors at Hogwarts and the other one is a minister. No doubt they are a bit protective about their mother."

Henry Jr. asked, "Have you made a pre-nup with Eileen yet?"

Helen said, "I know of a muggleborn lawyer that handles cases between the magical and non-magical world, Professor Dumbledore recommended her when Hermione started Hogwarts, if you want her address."

"I'll keep that in mind, Helen." Henry Sr. said. "By the way, what is the name of the law firm?"

"You'll have a laugh dad," Henry Jr. said, "Ketchum and Cheatham."

–-

_The next day in Serenity's house... in Serenity's study... the chat between the "boys" and their future stepfather..._

"Henry, I am totally against pre-nuptual agreements." William said. "But my brother here..."

Severus said, "...I know you have good intentions towards our mother, but I wish you 2 would consider a pre-nup before the wedding to protect both your assets. Especially since you are a muggle and my mother is a pure-blooded witch."

"You're saying that your mother could outlive me by many years?" Henry asked. "That is something to think about. I want her to live comfortably for as long as possible."

"I still don't like pre-nups." William said. "Money the root of all evil."

Henry said, "Well, my son Henry Jr. had a similar chat with me... alright, I'll sign the pre-nup. My daughter-in-law has a lawyer from a magical law firm lined up for me."

"Let me take a lucky guess," Severus said, "Ketchum and Cheatham."

"Yup."

–-

_In Serenity's parlor..._

Henry Granger Jr. was chatting with Harry and Draco on one side of the room, while Serenity, Billie Jo and Hermione were in one corner and the ladies were chatting in another corner. Harry said, "C'mon let's take a look at the grounds around Serenity's farm... hey Ser, mind if we show Henry Jr. around your farm and garage?"

Serenity said, "Just don't mess with my cars, right? You can look, but don't touch them."

The 3 of them went outside in the not-too-cold weather. "Potter," Draco said, "I'm going to the barn to see the horses, you 2 can see those things muggles call cars, I'll meet you 2 in the barn, later."

Harry and Henry Jr. walked to Serenity's garage. On the way there, Henry Jr. asked him, "What about Draco, he isn't a motorhead?"

Harry said, "He's more into fast brooms, than cars, Mr. Granger."

"Call me, Henry, Harry." Henry Jr. said. "I have a question to ask you... what do you know about the Prince family?"

Harry replied, "The Prince family is old money, wrapped up in some kind of financial dealings in the muggle and magical worlds, if you are concerned about your father's well being."

"How do you know this, you're only half-magical?" Henry Jr. asked.

"History of Magic, 4th year, one of those times I actually paid attention in class, even though it's taught by a ghost." Harry said. "Hermione made me stay awake on the lecture regarding the old families."

Henry Jr. said, "Speaking of Hermione, who does she fancy?"

"I think my friend Ron might be interested," Harry said, "but... Henry he only sees her as a friend."

Henry Jr. said, "I think a little matchmaking is in due order. How about say before Easter break?"

"I'll aim for Valentine's day." Harry said. "If my plans don't work, we'll go with your plan, deal?"

"Deal."

–-

_Somewhere in Las Vegas..._

"Joseph Redfeather calm down," Tiara said, "I'm not dumping you as a stepson. Think of it as "extended family" when I marry Dan."

"I know it Tiara," Joseph said, "It's just trashy to me that you want an Elvis impersonator doing the wedding, hello! Couldn't you get Professor Dumbledore to do the wedding?"

Tiara said, "Professor Dumbledore was too busy, he's got other things to do."

"Besides, Dumbledore would stick out like a sore thumb." Dan said. "What I want you to do, Joe is to make some floo calls to round up some wedding guests. First stop, Serenity Potter's..."


	27. Chapter 27

As usual, the standard disclaimer... anything that isn't JKR's or Warner Brothers... is MINE!

**Chapter 27 - THIS IS ONLY AN UPDATE!**

Hello, all! Long time, I know... My old computer "bit the dust" and I've been sick on and off this year, yadda yadda, yadda... don't get me started, people. Anyhow, I got me a new computer... and I'm ready to post new chapters, yay!

But I have a question to ask you all that have been reading this story. In a chapter that will take place later on, over 10 years later when the gang are all adults, there will be a "dinner party"-"get even with Marge Dursley" chapter.

Here are the original HP characters that will be at the "party"

-Draco Malfoy and spouse

-Hermione Granger - Ron's going to be busy, sorry!

-Ginny Weasley - Don't worry, Harry will show up later in the chapter!

-Dudley Dursley and spouse

-Petunia Dursley - sorry, Vernon's dead, won't say in this update how he dies!

- Marge Dursley

-Narcissa Black

-Kingsley Shackelbolt

My characters at the party

- Willhelmina "Billie Jo" Westmorland

- Serenity Potter-Snape- she's hosting the party.

-Ginger Harris- she's helping out with the "booze"

-Joseph Redfeather

- And a bunch of kids and teens of the HP characters and my characters.

Now here's where I ask you my faithful fans, for your help... I am also a fan of the following TV shows and Movies... you have to pick at least one from each show or movie to be at the party!

-Addams Family- Morticia, Gomez or the kids only!

-NCIS

-Avengers

-Thor - Thor, Jane and Loki only!

-X-men - good guys and gals only!

-Dallas - JR, Sue Ellen, Bobby and John Ross only!

-The Simpsons

Okay, that's all for now, would like to hear your opinions, please! I will post the next chapter sometime this week, C-ya!


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